Queen's Knight
by ladyeclectic
Summary: A notquitesoroutine mission begins a strange series of events, with Quistis stuck right in the middle. Fic reorganized, with new chapters posted.
1. Second Chances

1   


  


One hundred and fifty-two homework assignments. Nine late essays that I was foolish enough to accept a day late. A test to write up seeing as I mysteriously misplaced my previous copy. All due for my classes by tomorrow morning.   


Ah, the sweet bliss of teaching. Somebody kill me now.   


"Ms. Trepe?"   


Thanking Hyne for the distraction, I looked up to find a cadet perched nervously at my classroom door. Smiling to put her at ease, I asked, "How can I help you?"   


The brunette shifted as if embarassed but answered, "Instructor Xu asked me to come get you. Said it's kinda urgent, and if you could see her as soon as you could."   


"Thank you Maya, I'll head out immediately."   


Her chin came up and the girl literally beamed with the knowledge that I knew her name. Amused, I watched her skip out of the room, marveling at the exuberance of youth. Come to think of it, I wasn't much older than she was, probably no more than three or four years. Sometimes though, it felt like three or four lifetimes. There were moments I grew nostalgic for those days when all I had to do was study, train, and maybe participate in a bit of gossip. Life had, however, gotten a bit more interesting in the past year.   


We cleaned up on Ultimecia and returned home to a hero's welcome. I'm not going to be modest and say we didn't deserve it - still, one can take mass adoration only so far. I mean, I already had the Trepies dogging my heels; now it seemed everyone wanted to join in on the act. My only consolation, sadistic as it may sound, was that my comrades-in-arms had to endure the exact same thing. Irvine, I think, ended up having a following that put mine to shame - he was more than welcome to that particular honor.   


Soon enough, however, things calmed down. Irvine opted to return to Galbadia Garden while it was rebuilding and regrouping from its extensive, and in some ways embarassing, mistakes. We were all sad to see him go, but for the most part understood his reasons. Cid had offered him a posting here at Balamb Garden but he had turned it down, saying he'd take Galbadia, wacky bureacracy and all. Selphie and Zell went back to business, accepting the routine missions that still kept Garden running, while Squall and I were once again thrown into our respective leadership roles: he, as Commander, and I as Instructor.   


Of course, there were repercussions to what had happened - there couldn't help but be. Edea rarely goes out in public anymore unless accompanied by SeeDs; usually it's Selphie, Xu, or me, but Zell and Squall often accompany her. It doesn't matter that she had no control of herself during that time; there are still those who are of the mindset the only good sorceress is a dead sorceress. Pray to Hyne it won't be any SeeDs they hire to do their dirty work.   


Perhaps one of the most surprising outcomes was the fact that Seifer was re-admitted into Garden. Cid was much too kind hearted for his own good; I doubt I'd have made the same decision in Cid's place mainly because, as far as public relations went, it further besmirched Garden's name. First our Headmaster is married to the former Sorceress herself, and now we let Her knight back in as well. Unfortunately, there are people who are unable to forgive or forget as easily.   


To be honest, I'm not against Seifer coming back; he'd make one hell of a SeeD if he would put that attitude and pesky problem with authority behind him. It's just the inherent difficulties he would wind up bringing along with him, the problems that would no doubt arise from him being here when the whole world knew him for what he was as Edea's Knight. So far there had been no incidents to my knowledge, but he had been for the most part confined to Garden, unable to go out on any missions; knowing Seifer, he was probably chomping at the bit for an opportunity to get out.   


Pushing these thoughts aside, I stood up and stretched. Thankful as I was to Cid for giving me back my old job, after what I'd gone through with our mission it was less satisfying than before. I wanted to be out doing something, saving the world again, not sitting in here grading papers. Teaching, while still a challenge, no longer seemed fulfilling.   


Mindful of Xu's request, I headed out of the classroom and down the hall to her office. Thankfully, no Trepies were hiding nearby.   


* * *

  


"What?!"   


"Yes Quistis, you heard me right."   


"But... ... he... I..."   


"As sharp a wit as ever," Xu remarked dryly, earning a scathing look from me. "Come on Quistis," she insisted, the smirk easing up a bit, "weren't you the one who always said people need second chances? Well, this is Seifer Almasy's chance to try again."   


"Again?" I snorted. "That's five times now, if you count this one." Really, I should have seen it coming; Seifer's older than most cadets who passed the student stage, it's about time he got another chance to pass. Seifer's potential was widely acknowledged, even by myself: he's poetry in motion on the battlefield and a brilliant tactician, but... "He won't take orders, he's still got major problems with authority, he's a walking time-bomb in harsh situations, he doesn't listen to criticism ..."   


"... He's standing right behind you."   


Only Xu saw my face at that moment, for which I'll be eternally grateful. I really didn't appreciate her amused expression, though, as I hastily composed myself and turned to greet Seifer.   


Unfortunately he beat me to the punch. "Seeing as we now know that Instructor Trepe's personal opinion of me will obviously color her report," Seifer stated with a condescending smirk, "would it be so difficult for me to be assigned a new partner?"   


I wholeheartedly agreed with him, but Xu was shaking her head. "The decisions are final. Garden trusts Instructor Trepe to give an unbiased report." She shot me a pointed look to which I replied with an affronted glare. I had never let personal opinion rule my judgments and I wasn't going to start now: I just had my doubts Seifer would be any better this time around. Serious doubts.   


Something occurred to me as I glanced around the room. "Where are the other SeeDs going with us?"   


"Well, that's another thing I need to talk with you about," Xu stated. "We've decided to keep this small, with the fewer people knowing the better. Therefore, it's just going to be the two of you until the contact."   


I nodded. So, a covert operations assignment. A bit unorthodox for a graded mission, perhaps, but normal otherwise. My doubts about Seifer not passing solidified; there was no way he could be inconspicuous or covert; it just wasn't in him to be such. And having such a well known face didn't help matters either.   


"Just the two of us?" Seifer drawled, quirking an eyebrow in Xu's direction. "Is this another 'deal' Cid made? We're going to be sent to another 'poor oppressed township' to help their resistance factions again, or maybe it's a small village that needs a couple SeeDs to milk their cows for them..."   


"Your assignment," Xu continued in a decidedly neutral voice, unwilling to rise to Seifer's not so subtle bait, "is to infiltrate another Garden."   


That shut Seifer up faster than I thought possible. "Another Garden?" he echoed incredulously.   


I blinked. "You're sending us to spy on another Garden?" Gardens were autonomous, neutral ground for anything; I wouldn't think a Garden could go against another Garden. Wasn't it a breach of ethics, or at least etiquette?   


"It's not necessarily the Garden we're sending you up against. Here, these are your orders." She handed me an envelope, which I took and immediately ripped open. I heard Seifer come up behind me as I unfolded the letter and read its contents:   


"There have been rumors of factions still loyal to the Sorceress are congregating in Galbadia. Posing as visiting SeeDs, your mission is to enter the Galbadian Garden where you will meet up with your contact. From there, it is the job of Seifer Almasy to infiltrate any such factions using his previous status as Sorceress' Knight to whatever advantage is possible. Quistis Trepe will be his backup, and consort."   


"No."   


Surprised, I glanced back over my shoulder to see Seifer backing away, and cold expression on his face. "I'm not going on this mission."   


"Seifer, it's your SeeD test," Xu stated patiently, but Seifer cut her off by slicing his hand through the air.   


"No, I'm not going on this stupid mission. I *fail* this test!"   


Xu blinked in surprise. "I'm afraid it doesn't work like that Seifer. You go, or you're out of Garden."   


"Then I want out," he grit out, eyes blazing.   


I don't know who was more surprised, me or Xu. She glanced at me and I read confusion in her eyes that mirrored mine. What was making him act this way? "Seifer, will you calm down," I tried, only to have him turn on me.   


"Was this your idea? Some sort of cruel joke?"   


It was strange having the bully of the garden calling me cruel. Anger quickly replaced any bewilderment I felt, but I was NOT going to go off on a student in front of Xu. I'd always been of the mindset that such things required privacy. Controlling my expression, I turned back to Xu and said, "We accept the mission, please tell Cid we'll be on our way in the next few hours."   


A growl sounded from behind me, and it didn't take an empath to know that Seifer was about to blow up. Allowing my own anger to show, I slanted him a look that I knew spoke daggers, the one that would have had my younger students quivering. "I'll talk to you outside."   


His face flushed and his lip curled in total disgust, Seifer just glared back at me but didn't say any more as I walked past him and out into the hall.   


--0--   


I stopped across from the door. Seifer kept on walking away.   


"Seifer. Come. Here."An instructor learns how to modulate their voice, utilizing it for anything from commanding to cajoling, and knows just when to use them. That was my most commanding tone, and it didn't faze him one bit.   


How embarrassing.   


Beyond ticked now, I ran up after him and planted myself in his path. For an instant I thought he'd barge right past me, but instead he stopped in front of me, folded his arms, and smirked down at me. "You rang, Instructor Trepe?" he asked snidely, his gaze patronizing.   


He knew how to push my buttons better than anyone else but I kept my cool. "What was that you pulled back there?" I asked, mentally congratulating myself for sounding so calm.   


His smirk widened and he shrugged. "I don't want to go on the mission. It's as simple as that."   


"But throw away all your training here?" I let some of my incredulity seep through and his smirk faltered. Encouraged, I pressed on, "Seifer, whatever the reason it can't be worth that."   


The smirk widened again as he leaned close in on me. "Maybe I just don't want to do the mission with you."   


I was ninety-nine percent positive that wasn't the reason, but somehow the remark still stung. Not letting it show I replied instead, "You're scared, aren't you?"   


"No I'm not!" Seifer's eyes rose heavenward and he shook his head in disbelief. "You've said a lot of stupid things, Instructor Trepe, but that takes the cake."   


Ooh, ouch again. I rolled my eyes and let out a calming breath, then stared back at him. "If you remember nothing else I say," I stated in an icy voice, "remember this, Seifer Almasy. I am your Instructor, whether you want it or not, and I will not allow you to talk to me in such a way. Unless you can tell me a legitimate reason why you are unable to perform this assignment, personal reasons aside, I don't see why you can't take this mission. This is your job, Seifer, what you've been training for since you were a child."   


A muscle ticked in his jaw, but he said nothing. "To be frank," I continued, halfway thinking aloud, "I don't know why they wanted me with you. It's well known that you don't like me, and in my mind this would blow our cover..."   


"What about you?" Seifer interjected smoothly.   


"'What about me' what?"   


A hint of the smirk was back as Seifer answered, "Did you read the whole mission plan? Weren't you the least interested in the 'consort' part?"   


To tell the truth, that line had confused me. I had been about to ask Xu before Seifer had ruined that idea. "If it's part of the mission, then I accept."   


"So, you don't mind it that you're assigned to be my consort?" The smirk was fully back in place, and his right eyebrow lifted.   


Putting it that way, and from Seifer's lips, it suddenly took on a more ominous note. I hoped they didn't mean the way it sounded, but I couldn't be sure. In fact, the more I thought about it the more worried I became that it might be just the way Seifer was predicting.   


Evidently reading my thoughts, Seifer chuckled. "So, Ms. Instructor, just how willing are YOU to go on this little excursion, hmm? Bet you can't wait to be my "date", eh?"   


"At least I'm not being a chickenwuss about it," I snapped at him, and was gratified to see his face get stormy. "I'm telling you this once, and that's it: I'll pick you up at your dorm room in one hour. If you're not packed, tough. If you're not there, I'll send three of my biggest and best students to hunt you down and make you come. And if that doesn't work, I'll take you down myself and drag you behind the transport, do I make myself clear?"   


"Yes ma'am," Seifer replied with a mocking salute. His face quickly lost all humor and got intense as he added, "I can't wait to see how you deal with this mission."   


Getting a sudden cold shiver up my spine, I managed a nod and turned back to Xu's office. I HAD to ask her what the whole "consort" business meant. I had called Seifer a chickenwuss earlier, but I could almost feel feathers poking through my skin as I walked back. Oh Hyne, please let it not be that, please let it not be that, please let it not be....   


--0--   


It was that. Oh, the horror, the insanity.   


... Well, damn.   


Xu filled me in on some of the details pertaining to the mission, although I have to say I missed at least a quarter of them due to the shock of my role, minor though it may be. Our contact would meet us inside Gabaldia Garden; they would know who we were. Our presence would be in no way cloaked; if anything, we were supposed to flaunt that we were there. Or at least, Seifer should, but I had a feeling that wouldn't be much of a problem. He liked to make his presence known wherever he went. I was basically backup, taking on the role of (and my soul cringed at the thought) significant other to hopefully waylay suspicion.   


If I ever found out who'd assigned me this post, I was probably going to kill them.   


It still puzzled me about Seifer's resistance to the mission. I honestly thought he would have liked it; being the ex-Sorceress's Knight must be something he's proud of. She would have chosen the best, or closest to it. Of course, in the end we had beaten him so perhaps reprising the role would be a constant reminder of the fact that, no matter what he thought, he wasn't necessarily the best. Even that, though, didn't seem to jive right, and I gave up trying to get into his mind. His brain could be as convoluted at times as...Squall.   


You know, I always curse the times when my mind turns in that direction. Why did everything seem to come down to him? Alone in my quarters, I sat down on the bed and leaned against my empty suitcase, giving into a moment of self pity. I didn't do it often, but this assignment had brought up all sorts of unwanted thoughts.   


What might have happened if this whole sorceress fiasco hadn't occurred? Would he ever have noticed me? I rarely ever saw him anymore, seeing as how he'd moved up in the SeeD ranks, shooting far past being a mere student. I suppose that was to be expected after all he did, but it basically took him out of my life. He was no longer a student under my tutelage but a company commander. And then there was Rinoa.   


Much as I hated to admit it, I really liked Rinoa. She knew my feelings for him and yet didn't hate me, instead seemed to almost take me under her wing. It pains me to admit it, but my initial reaction on meeting her wasn't quite the same. When Rinoa had first come into the scene I had taken one look at her and immediately labelled her "Ditz". I had stubbornly held onto that belief for a while too, although to be utterly frank Rinoa hadn't quite disabused me of the notion; the more I'd gotten to know her, the more firmly entrenched the idea became. It was only as I grew to know her better that other words started to be associated with her as well: loyal, amusing, tenacious. Likeable. I think that with any other person I would have resented their role in breaking the ice around Squall's heart, but I knew their story personally; we'd lived through it together. She had done something to Squall I never had been able to do: make him feel again. It pained me to admit that I was only a friend to him, and would be only that unless I botched it again, but is it so wrong to say he's ruined any other men for me?   


I checked my watch: twenty-five minutes until I had to pick up Seifer. I still needed to get the transport, load my gear, and make it to the students' dormitory or else I'd be late. I sincerely doubted he'd let me live it down if I didn't show up on time. Ditching the pity party, I hustled around my quarters, getting the things I figured I would be needing for the mission and laying them carefully onto my bed.   


--0--   


"You're late."   


"No I'm not. Are you ready?"   


"I was ready when you told me to be, but right now I'm not so sure..."   


"Stuff it Seifer. Grab your gear, and follow me to the transport."   


I knew he was smirking behind me the whole way there, but it wasn't going to bother me. He could smirk all he wanted, but we were still going to do our job. So what if I was two minutes late; it wasn't like it was habit. Unlike him, I knew the importance of being punctual. It was difficult however when you had to somehow lose ten Trepies who'd just gotten wind of your mission and had come to enthusiastically see you off.   


I loaded my bags into the back seat as Seifer swung his large black duffel bag up and over into the trunk. The armored car bobbed on its axis, and giving the bag a dubious glance I couldn't help but ask, "What all do you have in there?"   


"Wouldn't you like to know," he replied snidely.   


Rolling my eyes, I prayed to Hyne that I wouldn't have to put up with this attitude the whole way there.   


"Hey Seifer, Instructor Trepe!"   


Seifer and I both looked up to see Raijin and Fujin jogging towards us. "I was afraid we'd missed you guys," Raijinn exclaimed, huffing and puffing a bit.   


"SAFE," Fujin stated, staring at Seifer.   


"Yeah, we just wanted to wish you good luck and all, and come back safe, and if you need us we'll help." He glanced at Fujin, and she nodded to him.   


"Keep the disciplinary committee alive and well for me guys," Seifer stated, giving them a hint of a real smile.   


"RIGHT."   


"Yes sir!"   


I started the car, audibly giving Seifer the hint that we needed to be going. He climbed inside the cab and stretched indolently out, propping his booted foot on the center of the dashboard and giving a negligent wave out the window as we headed out of the parking lot. Raijin was waving madly after us while Fujin just staring as the car left the building. "You've got an interesting posse there, Seifer," I commented.   


"Well, I didn't see any of your Trepies coming to see YOU off," he retorted.   


Glad that I hadn't told him the reason for my tardiness, I glumly settled into the fact that this was going to be a long trip.   


  



	2. Departures

  


2   


  


Seifer didn't disappoint. By the time we had reached the train depot he'd managed to hit every one of my buttons. Whether it was my driving, my clothing, my way of packing - nothing was off limits to Seifer. I'd managed, somehow, to keep my cool the whole way there, hoping he would get the hint that I wasn't interested in talk, but he must have loved the sound of his voice because he never shut up. If it had been anyone else I might have chalked it up to nerves, but he was just trying to be annoying. He was doing a bang-up job of it too.   


Seifer had gotten steadily more annoying since our return, which was saying a lot. Always an instant critic, he'd become both more distant and downright mean since right after the whole incident. His only companions were his long-time posse members Fujin and Raijin, but more and more often I'd seen them alone, with no Seifer in sight. It was almost like he was purposely distancing himself from those around him, but to what end I had no clue. Whenever someone approached him, they usually emerged from the conversation scorched around the edges from the burning comments he'd throw their way. He had advanced out of any of my own classes, but fellow instructors would talk about his disruptions in class in annoyed tones, nobody wishing him on even their worst enemies. From the way it sounded, Seifer wasn't making his reintroduction into Garden all that easy.   


We left our transport at the depot and headed towards the train station. It occurred to me as we walked up the steps that Seifer was being really quiet, especially compared to the trip out of Balamb. This puzzled me, but I figured he'd finally run out of things to say: it sure had taken long enough. I'd thought he would never shut up.   


As we headed down the grey platforms, I noticed a lot of faces turning our way. We were attracting an unflattering amount of attention, something which didn't bode well for a covert ops. Seeing as we were in plainclothes, not dress uniform, we should have fit in but apparently we were being recognized nonetheless. It wasn't until I saw a mother pull her young son away, glancing fearfully towards us, that I realized something was amiss.   


I glanced sideways at Seifer. His face was decidedly neutral, his expression its normal haughty self, but a muscle ticked along his jaw. Schooling my own expression into nonchalance, I glanced around the station to gauge the situation. What I saw surprised me, although in retrospect it probably shouldn't have.   


In this large train station full of people moving rapidly by us, we were a main attraction. While it wasn't everybody, we were garnering stares from people all around us. The common expressions ranged from fearful to angry, with heads turning as we passed by. Rather… it became readily apparent that it wasn't we who had the crowd's attention, but Seifer. I glanced at him again, wondering how all the interest was affecting him.   


He noticed my look and stared back for a second before once again looking forward. No smirk, no quip, nothing - this from the man for who found something sarcastic to say in every situation. That had me worried. "Maybe we shouldn't have come through the front door," I murmured sideways to him.   


I expected a quip, perhaps something along the lines of a sarcastic "Ya think?", but instead he just nodded. I had to give him brownie points, he was taking this a lot better than I would have. His gaze was straight ahead, and his expression was perhaps a bit toned down from the normal Garden smirk but still the arrogant look he normally sported.   


It made me suddenly curious, and I shot him a slightly worried glance which he either didn't see or didn't bother to acknowledge. Had he been dealing with this all along, and nobody had noticed? Or worse yet, had we noticed and done nothing about it?   


I was deep in thought along those lines when a man stumbled out directly in front of us. Surprised, I started to drop into a defensive position then quickly recovered when I saw it was just a civilian. Obviously drunk and sporting the red cheeks to prove it, he ignored me completely, his total attention focused on Seifer. "Are you him?" he asked, his speech slightly slurred.   


His face betraying nothing, Seifer stared down at the man, who couldn't have been an inch over five-five . "What if I am?"   


The man's already red face contorted into a gross caricature, then his head shot forward and he spit right in Seifer's face. "My brother was among the ones you slaughtered, you bastard," he snarled, visibly shaking.   


Seifer reached up and wiped away the spittle with his sleeve, but said nothing in his defense, only stared down at the smaller man. The muscle in his jaw was ticking again, but he didn't move.   


With a growl the man leaped at Seifer, arm flying through the air. So surprised was I at the sudden change in events that I didn't have time to prevent the attack, but an instant before the drunk man's fist connected with Seifer's jaw, another man stepped in and hastily wrapped his arms around Seifer's assailant. "Renald, don't do this," the man pleaded, tugging their questioner away from Seifer.   


"No, I'm not going to let him get off," Renald snarled, fighting off the other man's arms. "He killed my brother, he and that witch of his..."   


"Renald, please, not here, not like this," the other man pleaded, shooting Seifer a fearful look and finally succeeding in getting a good hold, dragging a struggling Renald away towards an adjacent platform.   


"You bastard! You murdering bastard!" The raging screams echoed throughout the station, drawing more attention to our position - never a good thing while on a mission.   


Shaking off my disbelief, not quite able to grasp that that had just happened, I grabbed Seifer's arm. "Let's get out of here."   


Seifer ripped his arm out of my grasp however and gave me a condescending look. "What, instructor," he stated acridly, "are you too embarrassed to be seen with me in public? Don't want me to tarnish your pristine hero-image?"   


Leaving me flabbergasted, he swung up his duffel bag again and stalked away from me down the causeway, people scattering before him.   


--0--   


I finally caught up with him on the train itself. He'd accessed the cabin area and had locked himself inside our designated room. Scanning my own pass and confirming my identity, I unlocked the doors and let them open, allowing me access.   


What I saw arrested forward movement. Blade whirling in the air, Seifer was performing one of the combat forms we'd learned as SeeDs. A mixture of martial arts and weapon combat, the forms were designed to mimic real battle situations and develop balance, agility, and speed. I had only seen part of a gunblade form a year ago, when I'd walked in on Squall just as he was finishing up.   


When I had said Seifer was poetry in motion on the battlefield, I had meant it. Watching him do the form, however, was pure magic. His coat and shirt lying on the couch, he whirled the blade around fluidly, stabbing and slicing through the air as smooth as silk. Seifer's eyes were closed, his brow furrowed in concentration as he twirled and cut the air with a controlled movement which I knew ever connected with an opponent would slice them in two. Barely audible grunts told just how much power he was putting into his swings, his muscles flexing with each blow. It was the way the movements were controlled however, the way he managed to turn even the fastest slices and stabs that told more than anything else the strength and ferocity of the man behind the blade.   


The trick behind mastering a gunblade, which on close inspection is an ungainly weapon, is to not treat it like you would a sword. It's far too heavy for any fencing moves, which rely almost solely on techniques which force you to arrest movement before you can move on to the next attack; unless fully trained and extremely strong, it's next to impossible to stop a slice by the four-foot, fully-metal weapon. The secret is to instead use the weight of the weapon as your power, and continually shift the direction of the blade along its arc, applying no greater force than is needed to change the direction of the slice. That is why someone who was perhaps a bit shorter and more wiry, like Squall, could still utilize the weapon and be perfectly capable of mastering these techniques; as long as you could lift it and keep it from slipping out of your hands from centrifugal force, you could learn it. There were some things, however, that Squall could never do simply because, as strong as he was, he wasn't strong enough.   


Watching Seifer's biceps bulge, the thickly corded muscles in his back playing under his skin as he arrested several chops mere inches from the floor, it was painfully obvious to even the most delusional that Seifer was most definitely strong enough.   


He executed one last maneuver which came within millimeters of slicing the room's sofa, crouched low on one leg, the other pointing straight out to the side and the gunblade held horizontal above his head. Exhaling slowly, his eyes opened and he saw me, but there was no surprise in the gaze. Either he'd known I was there, or was good at hiding the fact he hadn't. Standing up as gracefully as he'd moved mere seconds ago, he twirled the gunblade around and sheathed it. "Enjoy the show?"   


Unsure of what to say, I shook my head as he picked up his shirt. "Seifer, you puzzle the hell out of me, you know that?"   


Something flickered in his eyes, but was gone before I could tell what it might have been. "I live to please," he commented, a hint of his normal smirk playing over his lips as he slid the shirt over his head.   


"I mean it Seifer." Shaking my head and still not sure what I was getting at, I leaned against the wall next to the door. "I don't understand you at all; no matter how hard I try to figure you out, you always manage to surprise me somehow."   


His smirk had died, but his eyes remained enigmatic. "Surprised that I know how to use the gunblade?"   


"No, surprised that I never noticed, or thought about, what you probably have to go through every day."   


He visibly stiffened, and his face hardened. "I deal with my own problems, I don't need a meddling teacher putting her nose in where it doesn't belong."   


I knew I'd messed up by being so blunt, but it was too late to back down. "Do you have to deal with that kind of thing day in and day out?" I persisted. "If you do, why haven't you tried to talk to someone about it?"   


His eyes flickered away, then focussed back on me. "What makes you think I haven't tried?" he asked in an uncharacteristically mild voice.   


The statement gave me pause. It was hard to imagine Seifer desperate enough to seek advise, but… could he have tried, only to be rebuffed? "Have you? Seifer, I'm sorry, but why..."   


He was across the room faster than I would have thought possible. I swallowed a yelp and pressed myself against the wall as he leaned into me. His face was inches from mine, and I couldn't help but be slightly intimidated; he was over half a foot taller than me and a lot bigger than I was, and all the anger in his eyes was directed right at me. I'd be a fool not to be a little fearful.   


"I don't want your pity," he grit out. "I knew if I ever went to any of you that's what I would get. 'The poor Sorceress' Knight, she's defeated so now do we do with him?'" He drew closer to me, if that was possible. "I told you once, I deal with my own problems, my own way. I can't trust anyone else, especially not anyone who doesn't have a clue what I'm going through."   


"But you said you tried," I interjected, feeling a bit nervous about having him this close but unwilling to give the subject up. "Why didn't they try to support you, make it so you could make amends?"   


"Why don't you tell me the answer to that?"   


I stared at him in confusion, then the meaning of his words hit me. "You never asked for my help!" I exclaimed, staring at him wide-eyed.   


His eyes flickered to the side for a moment, then refocussed on me. "Should I have had to?"   


I opened my mouth to say something, but there was nothing to say. I couldn't bare to look in his eyes and dropped my gaze. He moved back away from me, then brushed past my shoulder out the cabin doors. They shut behind him and I was left alone.   


For a minute I could do nothing but stand there, staring at the floorboards. I eventually made my way across the cabin to the couch, collapsing more than sitting on the overstuffed cushions. I leaned back and laid my hand over my eyes, biting back a groan. I knew my whole part in this little passion play, I knew it well.   


Like everyone else at Garden and beyond, I'd shunned Seifer since his return. I'd questioned Cid's decision, openly participated in malicious gossip, and done my utmost to make Seifer feel unwanted. And, no surprise, it had worked; how could it not when just about everyone had been acting the same way. I'd become just like everyone else, quick to judge and loath to forgive. There had never been a doubt in my mind that Seifer's withdrawal had been because of the defeat, that it had been a blow to his pride. Now I wondered, though, could it have been more than that? Could it be that, more than a blow to his ego, he was actually sorry?   


The doors swished open again and I squeezed my eyes shut. I wasn't ready to face Seifer yet, but apparently it couldn't be helped. We needed to talk anyway; there were things I wanted to say to him, even though my mind was still a tangled mess. I sighed and, lifting my head off the back of the couch, opened my eyes to see Irvine silhouetted in the doorway.   


  



	3. Confrontations

3   


  


"Irvine?!"   


"Hey, Quisty! " The sharpshooter grinned my way and flashed me a wink. "Long time no see, beautiful."   


My eyes rolled towards the ceiling but a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. Confident as ever, I could tell. "What are you doing here?"   


His eyebrows rose and he gave me a mock salute. "Irvine Kinneas, reporting for duty." At my confused look he again winked at me. "I'm your contact for this mission."   


"Huh?" That got my full attention. "You're our contact? But you're only a..." I caught myself before I shoved my foot in my mouth again, but Irvine just waved it off.   


"It wouldn't seem so strange if I'd been the one who approached you guys, since I already knew you and all. I would have been reporting to a higher up anyway, although I hadn't been told who it was yet. It was my SeeD exam, being your guys' contact; they don't need any sharpshooters right now, so they gave me this assignment."   


"So why are you meeting us here?" I continued, tipping my head in curiosity. "I thought we had to make it to Galbadia garden before our contact...erm, before you revealed yourself. And what's our mission anyway?"   


"It was basically going to be a spying mission, but that's changed now. Where's Seifer?"   


"What do you mean it's changed?" Something that had been nagging me suddenly clicked. "And why have you been talking about everything in the past tense?"   


Irvine winced slightly, the self important look gone. "I'll tell you," he promised, "but I have to know where Seifer is. He may be in danger."   


A serious Irvine. I knew such an event meant something was genuinely wrong. "I don't know," I replied slowly, "we had an argument and he walked out without telling me where he was going."   


"Well, we've gotta find him. We need to get off this train as soon as possible."   


Desperate as I was to know what was going on, I bit my tongue and nodded. Standing up, I crossed the room and went out the door, followed closely by Irvine. "You take the front area of the train, I'll take the rear. If we don't see him we'll backtrack until we meet up with one another. If we still couldn't find him on the second sweep then we'll worry."   


"Gotcha. Just keep an eye out for anything suspicious." Before I could ask what he meant by suspicious he took off down the train.   


Puzzled, I headed down the other end of the train. The first car held nothing, nor did the next one. The third car was the dining car, filled with tables and chairs and fairly packed with people eating dinner. Along the edges there were a few passengers staring out the windows at the moving scenery, which reminded me of Selphie.   


Passing through the next section, one of the passenger cars, I heard a feminine laugh come from behind me. Turning around, I could have sworn I saw the tip of a long white jacket disappear into a cabin, whose door was promptly shut and locked. Breathing out slowly, I walked back to the door and politely knocked. My only reply was another giggle and a lower voice saying something I couldn't make out.   


Gritting my teeth, I called out softly, "Seifer, are you in there?"   


There was cursing, more murmuring, then the doors slid open to reveal my erstwhile partner. "I'm busy," he snapped, his eyes flashing.   


Raising an eyebrow, I peeked around him. A girl our age was seated on this cabin's sofa, smoothing down a rumpled dress. She had long dark hair and her skin had an olive tone to it. It struck me that, while they were obviously not the same person, she had the same features as Rinoa. Eyes narrowing, I looked back at Seifer. "Enjoying yourself?"   


"If you hadn't barged in, I would be! Now go away." With that he shut the door in my face.   


Fuming, and realizing we were running out of time, I gave the door three hard knocks with my fist. I was gratified to hear more cursing behind it, and again the door whipped open. "What?!"   


"Irvine's on board the train, and he's saying we have to get off now," I murmured, glancing behind him to make sure the girl hadn't heard. She was again arranging her dress, her face sporting an annoyed look. "He was going to be our contact in Galbadia Garden, but something went wrong and he came to get us early."   


"So what?" Seifer asked belligerently, but I could see him thinking. He glanced back at the girl, then looked at me. "Can't we wait just a few more minutes?"   


"Unfortunately you know it doesn't work like that Seif…"   


"She doesn't know who I am."   


It took a second before the statement made sense, and I stared at him in bewilderment. I had never in my life heard Seifer beg, or seen this look in his eye. His eyes were silently pleading with me over this at a time when we really didn't have any leeway. Irvine's agitation had washed over onto me and I wanted to get the heck off this train, but looking into the those eyes I was tempted to give him those five minutes. Really tempted. Perhaps I couldn't understand fully what he'd been through, and I wanted to make up for what he'd no doubt been going through the past few months...but now wasn't the time. I simply couldn't do it - it went against my grain to bend the rules no matter how good the reason.   


Slim arms reached around Seifer's torso, and the girl's head peeked from behind his shoulder. "Are you coming back in, Seifer?"   


"In a minute Mina," he replied, eyes still pleading with me.   


It tore me up inside, but I made my decision. "Seifer, I'm giving you an order as your commanding officer to step out of that room and come with me."   


I knew there was a ninety-nine-point-nine percent chance he'd disobey me. I'd never been able to get him to follow my orders, he just didn't see me as his superior. His eyes lit up just like I'd known they would and I braced myself for what would probably be a rather heated 'No' on his part.   


Almost as quickly as it had come, the fire died in his eyes. He let out a weary sigh and nodded without meeting my eyes. I barely managed to keep my jaw from hitting the floor when he turned around to Mina and said, "I'm sorry, but I need to go."   


"Are you sure?" she pouted, her body pressing against him.   


He did send me a look then, one of pure spite, but nodded his head. "Maybe we'll meet up again?"   


Mina sighed. "Damn, now I gotta do this the hard way?"   


"Wha..."   


Twin knives almost magically appeared in the hands that encircled Seifer's chest. He froze as she fluidly shifted position and settled one knife over his neck, the other moving to the small of his back. "Out, now."   


The light, airy voice I'd heard a minute ago was gone; her tone was suddenly no-nonsense. She no longer even looked our age but older, her features set in a decidedly neutral expression that would have rivaled anything Squall had ever worn.   


I did as she said, backing away as she slowly led Seifer out into the hallway. She flicked the wrist holding the knife at his throat and stated, "I have him in car seven, but we need a pickup ASAP."   


"Affirmative, escort on its way," a disembodied voice replied.   


Irvine had been right, apparently, but about what I wasn't sure. What exactly was going on? "Who are you, and what do you want with us?" I asked, keeping my expression neutral.   


She just smiled. "In a few minutes it won't really matter."   


"How do you think you can capture us without tipping off the whole train?"   


"There are ways," she replied simply.   


"But why do you want to kill us?" I countered vehemently. "What did we ever do to you?"   


"Who said I was going to kill you?" Silence.   


Well, so much for getting her to brag the Plan. Apparently it only works in movies.   


I heard a muffled shot, and felt a breeze across my cheek even as something wet and warm sprinkled my face. The girl gasped, and that was all the warning Seifer needed; his elbow lashed out and connected with her midsection, and before she even had time to react to that he swung her over and smashed her into the floor of the train car. He ground the hand still holding the knife into the floor until she let go, then kicked it towards Irvine.   


"Miss me?" the sharpshooter quipped with a lopsided grin, blowing the smoke off the tip of his rifle.   


Wiping blood from my cheek and ignoring the gunman, I approached the girl and picked her head up by the hair. "Who sent you to do this?"   


She just smiled at me, a thin stream of blood trickling down her cheek. Irvine's shot had torn through the girl's elbow, which Seifer was even now grinding into the floorboards, but the blow to the floor had split her scalp. Picking up one of the knives, I held it to her throat and repeated, "Who sent you to do this?"   


She opened her mouth as if to speak, and I saw something roll across her tongue. Before I could do anything she bit down hard, then almost immediately started convulsing in my grip. Swearing, I rolled her over to try and save her from the poison she'd no doubt been carrying but before I could even get her pinned down she went limp, her eyes staring blankly forward. I checked her neck for a pulse and didn't find one.   


"Damn," I muttered, then repeated it a bit louder as I realized we were in a very public area. "Help me get her into the cabin."   


Irvine grabbed her arms while I got the legs. We carried her into the room and laid her out on the floor behind a desk, arranging her so she was as hidden as possible. She was so small I could almost forget that she had almost tried to kill us.   


Grimacing, Irvine wiped his hands on his pants as if trying to get rid of the essence of the dead. "We need to get off this train, now. On my way here I ran past some-- Seifer!"   


Seifer had given the body of the girl a hard kick in the torso, one which had propelled her the few feet to the wall. He gave me a tortured look that Irvine completely missed, then pushed past us back into the hall.   


"Geez, what a prick," Irvine stated angrily. "He didn't have to kick her like that."   


"It's just a body now Irvine," I answered, rising to Seifer's defense. "A body of someone who betrayed him."   


"But she was, well, a she."   


Irvine, sexist? Nah. "Give him a break, how would you feel if a girl you'd just been making out with tried to slit your throat?"   


That shut him up for a moment, but he still scowled. "I don't trust him, how can you? We may come from the same place, but he's changed and not necessarily for the better..."   


"Irvine, shut your mouth before I do it for you." I think I shocked him being so blunt, but we didn't have time for this and it was making me ... uncomfortable. I guess I was feeling guilty, but now wasn't the time to think about that. "We've gotta get off here."   


"Yeah, we need to leave NOW. I didn't tell you, but if we get into the tunnel under the water, we're screwed. There's no room to jump; the walls are too close and we'd be sucked under the wheels."   


Ouch. "Alright, let's go."   


Seifer was waiting just outside the doors. I knew he'd heard our conversation; he couldn't help hearing it from his position. I felt my face heat up slightly, but ignored it and headed towards one end of the train car.   


The door there suddenly burst open, and three people leaped through. I stopped, confused, and heard Irvine yelp behind me.   


"Quistis, this way!"   


"But..."   


"Come on!"   


Torn by indecision, I followed Irvine's orders just as bullets started whizzing by my head. Cursing, I dodged as best I could, diving behind the door leading to the connecting room between cars. Irvine slammed it shut and locked it behind me, then ducked behind the sturdy metal door as bullets pinged off it.   


Seifer unsheathed his gunblade and sliced through the side door to the outside of the train. Everyone in the small compartment was immediately whipped by the howling wind from outside, sucking us towards the opening with amazing power.   


"Go, we gotta jump!"   


"Irvine, those are SeeDs! What's going on?"   


"I'm telling you, they're the bad guys. Now JUMP!"   


I felt power being drawn, and looked up just in time to see Seifer form a fireball and hurl it to the door we were hiding behind. It crashed against the door, ripping it off its hinges and back into the compartment, blasting back the soldiers standing on the other side.   


I glanced outside. The tunnel was coming up with amazing speed, and with one last glance at Irvine's desperate face I took a flying leap out the door.   


  



	4. No Pity

4   


  


I hit the ground hard, immediately tucking myself into a protective ball. The incline was much steeper than I'd originally thought, as well as rockier; by the time I got to the bottom I had numerous cuts and bruises all over my body. I just lay there for a moment, then staggered to my feet. Grabbing my head, which felt like it had been on the receiving end of a chocobo stampede, I turned and stared down the tracks as the last sounds of the train echoed out of the tunnel. Squinting, I could see Irvine's figure stand, collapse, then stand again, grabbing his side. There was no sign of Seifer.   


Worried, I took off down the tracks at an ever-increasing jog, trying to ignore what the jarring pace was doing to my headache. Reaching Irvine, I asked, "Where's Seifer?"   


He looked at me blankly for an instant, making me wonder if perhaps he had a concussion, then his eyes snapped wide. "Damn, I don't know. He got off...after me."   


Moving past Irvine, I headed farther down the tracks. The foliage grew thinner as I approached the stone tunnel, then I saw the white shape lying just below the entrance. "Oh Hyne," I breathed and sprinted the rest of the way, sliding the last foot on my knees towards Seifer.   


It was obvious, if not from his position then from the wounds, that he had slammed into the wall upon exiting the train. Afraid of what I'd find I checked for a pulse, and gave a sigh of relief when I found a strong beat. I cast two healing spells on him, but spells wouldn't be enough and I knew it; he needed a medic, or at the very least a comfortable, warm place to rest.   


Very carefully I reached out and turned him over, and felt a whisper of residual magic trickle off him and out in the air. Easily identifying it, I breathed a sigh of relief and felt another spark of admiration for the unconscious man. Few people, quite possibly myself included, would have the presence of mind to cast a shield spell with events moving so quickly. The spell had saved him from being dashed to a bloody pulp against the stone face of the tunnel, but it hadn't kept him from total harm.   


I could tell he'd hit the wall back-first, judging by the tears on the back of his jacket and the large bleeding bump on his crown. The slope here was gentler than the one Irvine and I had fallen down, but there were still a few scrapes on his hands and face from his roll down it.   


"Holy..." Irvine came up behind me and squatted down. "How could he have survived that impact?"   


"A strong shield spell at the last minute, but he's still got injuries and most likely a concussion. We need to take him somewhere safe and quiet, fast."   


Irvine looked at Seifer, then the tunnel wall, then Seifer again, an agonized look on his face. I was about to ask what was the matter when the look was replaced by determination. "We gotta get out of here. Unless others got off with us, which I highly doubt, we're safe since they don't have the clout to stop a civilian train and backtrack for us. Still, it's best if we moved quickly."   


My thoughts exactly. "There's a town not far from here, Tinaga. It's small enough that not too many should see or recognize us, but not big enough to hide in for longer than a day or so. Still, Seifer needs help now and it's the closest bet we have."   


"If you're talking about the speck to the south, I saw a few monsters that way. It won't be smooth sailing."   


"So what else is new? Just junction your magics for attack, we can't afford any extra time in fights. And could you go scout out the area so we'd have a better plan on what to expect?"   


Irvine nodded and took off while I continued to check Seifer for more injuries. My movements awakened him and he opened his eyes, dazedly looking up at me. A lopsided grin spread over his face as he mumbled, "I must be in heaven with such pretty angels."   


I sat back on my heels, giving him a dubious look. "Humph, now you think you're going to heaven," I scoffed, then made him focus on my face. "Who am I? Do you know who I am?"   


His eyes, which had been wandering, focused on me and he smiled again. "The prettiest girl in the world."   


Ah damn. Even coming from a guy who was clearly delusional, being called pretty always makes a girl's stomach do flipflops. Then again, I heard it at least once a week from a Trepie and feel nothing ... no use trying to figure out why Seifer was any different. "Flattery won't work on me wonderboy," I lied as I hefted him upright to check his back injuries. "Can you tell me what my name is?"   


"You're Quistis Almasy."   


This time I dropped him, and he fell backwards with a small grunt. Wincing at my own carelessness I laid him out flat again, giving him an occasional shake to keep him awake. I did not ask any more questions though, no siree.   


Irvine chose that moment to reappear with a dubious itinerary for our trip to the small town. Hefting Seifer upright I took one arm as Irvine took the other, and we headed towards the village.   


* * * * * * *   


Two caterchippilars, four bite bugs, and a rather irate Buel later, we arrived in Tinaga. The sun had already settled behind the mountains, giving the sky a faint pink-and-purple glow but there was enough light to discern the town's only hotel. We rented two rooms joined by a common door, and I situated Seifer as best I could in the room with two beds, tucking him like I would a child. He was fast asleep even before we got him fully onto the bed so I took his boots and jacket off, laying them on the room's chair and shut off the light. Irvine and I then retreated to the adjoining room, my room, to talk.   


"Okay Irvine," I stated the moment the door between the rooms was shut, "tell me just what is going on here and why we are getting shot at by other SeeD soldiers. Tell me all of it right now ... or I'll wring your neck."   


"Whoa there Tiger," he replied quickly, waving his outstretched hands at me in mock defense, "I'll confess to it all, I promise. Just let me get comfortable first, eh?" Testing the mattress's softness first, he hopped, feet outstretched, onto the bed in front of him then leaned back and folded his hands behind his head. With a sly smile, he patted the bed and asked, "Want to join me?"   


I just glared at him. I was tired, cranky, dirty, and didn't have a change of clothes as we'd left our luggage on board the train. I'd been shot at by people I should have been able to trust then forced off a moving train -- a very fast moving train. The mood I was in was reminiscent of some of my worse monthlies.   


Either Irvine sensed this (and if he did I had to give him credit for being more perceptive than I thought), or he just got tired of the BS too because he started talking. "You know Galbadia Garden was destroyed when it crashed after the sorceress gained control. By the time I got back to Galbadia, the Garden had regrouped and was looking for a location for a new base - preferably someplace more secluded, if that's possible.   


"I won't bore you with the moving details; classes and training still went on for the youngers, while us older students helped with the planning."   


I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe they've waited this long to give you your SeeD mission." When Irvine had left Balamb, we had all assumed he would be instantly promoted to SeeD rank when he arrived at Galbadia. So it came as something of a shock to us all when he wrote back to us that he would again be starting classes and still training. Seemed the heads of the Garden, in what I can only call a sheer act of bugger-all stupidity, had denied him his rank because he had not accomplished his original mission to dispatch the sorceress. The lot of us had been ready to lynch the bureaucrats who'd made that decision, but Irvine in typical fashion had laughed it off, saying he really didn't mind. We all had strong doubts that Irvine was taking this as well as he appeared - none of us would have been able to stand for it - but he still turned down a commission Cid offered him, opting to stay at Galbadia.   


Irvine just shrugged. "It all worked out, I didn't mind. It got me better grades though; after all, who wants to fail one of the saviors of the world."   


I rolled my eyes at the sharpshooter, who simply grinned back and continued his story. "Anyway, things were starting to get back to normal, or as normal as they could be considering the circumstances. A week ago they started getting mission requests again, and I of course was bumped up to the top.   


"The original mission, as I would brief you, was a spying mission to military officials suspected of being loyal to the memory of the Sorceress. That's why Seifer was brought on, as an intermediary to starting contact."   


He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "But, the problem at Galbadia Garden changed that. Apparently we had...traitors among us, also loyal to the memory of the Sorceress. They murdered the headmaster and took over Galbadia Garden, including the students. The little ones got away thanks to some of the teachers, but...Quistis, they have G-Garden!"   


I had no idea what to say about the agonizing look he gave me except, "I'm sorry." It sounded lame even to my ears and I cursed the fact that I wasn't more like Rinoa or Selphie. I was an ice queen to the core, no matter how much I hated it.   


Irvine shook his head and turned serious again, no more amusement lurking in the corners. "I'd already left on the mission, and I heard about it at the train station. It must have happened just as I left. There was a message waiting for me with the stationmaster that gave me my new orders, and here I am."   


"Here you are," I echoed, slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed. I let that sink in for a few seconds then asked, "So, what's our new mission?"   


"I'm to find you, then somehow save Galbadia Garden." Taking off his cowboy hat and raking his fingers through his hair, he gave a hollow laugh. "No pressure, eh?"   


I didn't answer him, just sat on the bed thinking. There was no way we could do this mission without help, and that was the honest truth. Missions like this required whole gardens; three operatives could do an infiltration operation, but never the full assault probably necessary. My first thought was that we needed to get ahold of Balamb Garden with the information, see what our orders from that corner were. They were most likely abreast of the situation, and might have more info than we did. But there was the problem of getting there in a timely fashion without transportation, as well as trained assassins dogging our heels...   


"Quistis?"   


Pulled out of my thoughts, I focused back on Irvine. "One thing at a time," I finally replied. "Right now we have Seifer to worry about. We'll leave early tomorrow if he's good to go, and if he isn't we'll deal with it then. Get some rest, we'll be needing it come tomorrow."   


Irvine nodded and rolled off the bed, starting toward the door.   


I remembered something. "Irvine, I've got a question." When he paused and turned around I asked, "Back at the tracks, what happened when you two got off the train?"   


He avoided my eyes for the longest time before answering. "I chickened out when I saw you rolling down the hill. Seifer was waiting for me to go, and when he saw I couldn't do it he tossed me out just before the tunnel, then went himself."   


"So you were the reason he hit the wall?" The minute the words left my mouth I realized how harsh it sounded. I hadn't meant it that way, to make him feel worse about it than he already did, but I saw him stiffen. Still, I couldn't bring myself to apologize; I'd only said the truth.   


"Goodnight, Instructor Trepe," he said, walking out of the room through the common door and shutting it behind him.   


Great, now I was back to being called 'Instructor' again. I suppose I deserved it though. Pulling back the covers, I kicked off my shoes and climbed into the bed fully clothed in case of emergency. It occurred to me that I really should have apologized for what I said; after all, I myself had very nearly chickened out when faced with that jump, and I couldn't expect everyone to make the same decision...   


Think tomorrow: right now, sleep beckoned and I was only too happy to oblige.   


*   


"SHIT!"   


I jackknifed upright at the sound of Irvine's voice, barely noticing it was still pitch black all around me. Abandoning the bed, I ran across the room toward the door. It swung open suddenly and I barely kept myself from being hit by it as Irvine rushed into the room.   


"Seifer's gone."   


--0--   


I found Seifer in the town's saloon half an hour later hunched over the bar. Here we'd been running around thinking foul play, me worried sick whether he was all right considering his condition, and he had just been enjoying a beer at the local pub.   


As quietly as I could I crept up until I was standing right behind him. Shaking my head silently in frustration, I just stared at his back for a moment. He hadn't brought his coat and part of me cringed as I saw what the impact had done to his back. The shirt had holes, both large and small, dotting the back as well as bloodstains surrounding some of the tears. In the bar's dark ambience the shirt simply looked dirty and worn out, but I knew better; hopefully no one else had noticed.   


"Why don't you just take a seat, Instructor," Seifer asked calmly, not looking up from his drink.   


So much for the element of surprise. "How'd you know I was there?" I asked, pulling up a stool beside him.   


He just smirked, still staring at his cup. "Don't you know every bar has a mirror behind it? Probably so one can see their opponent coming up behind them."   


Shoot, he was right, there was a mirror behind the bottles on the far wall. "So now I'm an opponent," I stated, signaling the bartender. "Orange twist on the rocks."   


The bartender eyed me strangely before setting me up. I was used to it; it often amused me to order orange juice with ice at a bar like this.   


"Heh, a teetotaler. Figures."   


I knew without looking that Seifer had his normal look of contempt but chose to ignore it. I wanted to rail at him about why he'd left the hotel, but said instead, "I'd just rather not have my abilities hampered by alcohol, is all."   


Seifer just snorted and took another swig of his drink, saying nothing.   


The silence stretched out until I couldn't take it anymore. "Why'd you leave the hotel, Seifer?"   


"What, am I under house arrest now?"   


One thing about Seifer, he knew just how to press my buttons. I normally managed to cover my reactions, never rising to his goading, but not this time. Slamming my drink on the bar hard enough to make the liquid slosh out I grabbed his shirt collar and turned him on the barstool to face me. "Did it ever occur to you," I growled, "that someone might just be looking out for your well-being? Hyne Seifer, you hit a solid rock wall going at least a hundred miles an hour, probably got a concussion even with that shield spell, and here you are getting your sorry self drunk?"   


He wasn't able to keep a shocked expression from flickering across his face. It quickly turned to anger in the middle of my statement, then neutral again as he snatched himself away from me. "I told you once Instructor, I don't need or want your pity."   


"Hyne, you are SO dense!" I felt like wringing his neck then and there, I was so frustrated. "Have you ever considered some people don't need guilt to prompt them into helping you?"   


"Whatever," he muttered, hunching back over his drink.   


Boy, I'd bet he would just love knowing how like Squall he sounded. I forced myself to calm down, taking a drink of juice while counting to ten before I spoke again. "Look, you had what could have been a serious accident happen to you today. Irvine and I had to drag you back here, as well as put you to bed ourselves. We all, you especially, need to get some rest since we're leaving as early as possible tomorrow. Irvine briefed me on the mission while we thought you were sleeping..."   


"I'm not doing the mission, I told you that."   


He sounded just like a whiny baby; he obviously wasn't a very happy drunk. I wasn't about to tell him that of course, we needed to get out of here before we attracted more attention than we already had. Stares from around the room had settled on the two of us, making me think we may need to move our plans of leaving up to tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow. "Listen Seifer, the mission has been changed." His head snapped up in surprise, but I didn't give him time to talk. "Irvine briefed me on it, but I'd rather we step outside before..."   


"Can I buy the little lady a drink?"   


I hadn't heard the man come up behind me, and from his expression I could tell Seifer hadn't either. Heaving an angry sigh and hoping he'd get the hint I replied cooly, "No thank you, I'm not thirsty."   


"What a shame, such a pretty lady as yourself shouldn't be alone." The voice was smooth, with a lilt of the northern regions giving it character. He moved to a better vantage point, and although he wasn't in the best of light I could make out dark hair and an aquiline face.   


"She's not alone, buddy, so back off." Seifer's voice was a low growl, and the hand resting on the bar was clenched into a fist.   


"Really," the man drawled, "from the sounds of your argument I would have thought you wanted rid of her."   


Warning bells went of in my head: this man had been listening to our conversation. I turned to Seifer and started to tell him "Let's get out of here," just as the back of the man's hand brushed across my neck.   


My words froze in my throat and I shoved away from the bar, nearly tripping over the stool in my haste. The fact that I hadn't expected the touch, that he'd gotten past my guard so easily, was part of the reason for my jumpiness. The main reason, however, was that I could have sworn I'd felt something cold slither across my mind at the contact.   


The man took a step toward me, and with a snarl Seifer launched himself at him. They crashed onto a nearby table, scattering the table's cardplaying inhabitants, then rolled onto the floor. The sound of fists connecting with bone a rang through the air from behind the tables.   


With a start I realized Seifer had no weapon, his gunblade still back in the room with his coat. Uncoiling my whip I started in to assist only to hear the cocking of a rifle right behind my head.   


All action stopped as the bartender leveled the large gun on the two men, both of whom had immediately stopped fighting at the noise. "There is no fighting allowed in my bar," he growled. "Get out of here a'fore I add holes to ya nature never intended."   


I hid my whip in case the barkeep saw it as a threat. In the dim light it could probably pass as a simple bullwhip, but I'd rather they not catch wind of the various upgrades it had gone through to make it infinitely more dangerous. There was a big difference between an ordinary whip and Save The Queen.   


Reaching down I grabbed Seifer and hoisted him to his feet. "Let's get out of here now," I hissed, and drug him by the hand out the door and into the night.   


* *   


"What were you doing back there, Seifer?" I asked as we walked along the sidewalk.   


"What do you think I was doing?" he replied back in a neutral tone, not even bothering to look at me.   


I felt a headache begin to grow right in the center of my forehead and paused next to a wood building to massage my temples. "Seifer, please don't do this. I'm seriously not in the mood for your games tonight."   


"You're not in the mood?" Seifer asked in a low voice. "You're not in the mood, Miss Instructor?"   


Oh great, what had I done now? Sick of walking on eggshells around him because of something I didn't even do, I asked in an icy voice, "Is there something you'd like to discuss, Seifer?"   


He paced in front of me twice more, then came to a stop directly facing me. "Why are you doing this, being 'nice' to me?" he blurted out.   


The question startled me. I had been expecting something perhaps a little more confrontational, to say the least; this blindsided me. "Excuse me?"   


"You heard me, why are you trying to help me all of a sudden." He ran a hand over his face, clearly agitated, but I didn't know at whom or what. "I heard what you said to Irvine on the train. Why?"   


I wasn't sure if I understood the question - he was asking why I was defending him? Carefully considering my words, I replied, "I have a lot to make up for myself in letting you down, and I'm starting now."   


"That's just it," he ground out. "You don't have to. I deserved all of it and more."   


The words sounded as though they'd been ripped from him, but I could tell he meant every word. "That's not true," I replied, startled.   


He just stared at me. "Isn't it?"   


I stood there fumbling for words, trying to figure out something to say in response but everything I came up with would be a lie on my part. Staring at Seifer, at the tortured expression on his face, I realized that I agreed with him; my head told me what was honorable and to forgive him, but my heart refused, still branding him a traitor. And I was ashamed.   


"I deceived my friends, betrayed them at every turn, and tried to kill them. And I...I wanted it." He thrust a hand through his hair, which I suddenly noticed had grown out a bit. "I absolutely reveled in the power I had been given, because I could finally get back at you all."   


"Get back at us for what?" I asked softly.   


He closed his eyes and turned his head away. "For being everything I wanted to be, and wasn't." He gave a hollow laugh and leaned against a post, shaking his head. "I really was a fool today back on the train, wasn't I? So desperate for anonymity that I almost got myself killed."   


My anger at him dissipated, but I didn't know what to say. Right then, I desperately wished it was Rinoa and not me who had to deal with this. The sorceress would know what to say to help him, whereas I was being as helpful as dirt. I longed to say something, anything to alleviate his obvious pain.   


I heard footsteps and saw Seifer's head snap up, his eyes focusing past me. Without looking I sprang away from the sound, uncoiling Save the Queen and whirling around to face whatever it was. Seifer crouched low, his hands clenching into fists as he moved in beside me.   


Three dark shapes shifted, then launched themselves at the two of us. Choosing one, I lashed out with the whip even as I dodged the swipe of a katana blade. Shoot, but these guys were fast. My second snap missed my target entirely and I barely managed to keep from being skewered. The lunge, however, gave me an opening with my opponent for a split second and without recoiling the whip I lashed out, catching the figure in the side. He let out a shriek and fell away, giving me at least a moment to help Seifer.   


Even with just his fists he managed to stay afloat well, giving as good as he got, but I watched as one lunge broke through his blocks and a blade sliced his side. He gave a grunt and swung at the opponent just as I sent the whip out. Both connected simultaneously and the assailant was thrown backwards into a blind alley.   


Something hit me in the right shoulder hard enough to spin me around. I heard Seifer shout my name and looked down to see a barbed arrowhead sticking several inches out the front of my shoulder. Gritting my teeth against the pain I transferred my whip to my left hand and went in to help Seifer just as my legs buckled. I fell to my knees just as a dark shape advanced to my left, and knew we were done for.   


There was a wooshing sound, and I saw the shadow to my left get propelled backwards even as the distinctive ring of a gunblade split the air.   


Something small and very fast flew past my vision, and I followed it to where it connected on Rinoa's wrist. Selphie and Zell appeared next to her looking ready for some action, and their shoulders slumped as they saw everything had already been taken care of. Seifer took an unsteady step back from the prone body before him, but the tension hadn't yet left his stance.   


"Miss us?" I heard an achingly familiar voice beside me ask, and looked up through the darkness to see Squall swing his gunblade to his shoulder and offer me his other hand.  


  


  



	5. Explanations

5   


  


"How did you guys know to find us here?"   


The question seemed to amuse Rinoa, who cut the last bit of gauze binding my shoulder. "One of the perks of being a sorceress," she replied, glancing at me with a grin, "is you can find lost things. Or lost people."   


"Did Garden send you guys after us?"   


"Of course, silly, who else? Now turn around, I need to check if this bandage will hold."   


I did as I was told and managed to not flinch when she pulled it a tad too hard, abrading the arrow wound. "Sorry," she murmured, and I nodded.   


"Actually, when we heard what had happened we all practically begged the headmaster for the assignment," Zell stated, coming through the door just as I was buttoning up my shirt. "He was an easy sell on the idea."   


"But why are you here?" I asked Rinoa. "You're not SeeD."   


"That's what I'd like to know," Squall grumbled, taking off his jacket. "She met us halfway here and won't go back to Balamb."   


"He's just worried I'll get hurt," Rinoa whispered. "I swear, he'd make me stay home and tend to the home like a good girl if I didn't escape every once in a while." Instead of being put out by the realization, however, she sounded pleased as punch.   


"Are you two talking about me?" Squall protested just as Irvine and Selphie entered the room.   


"Of course not," I lied smoothly, then turned my attention to the two newcomers. "Any signs?"   


Irvine shook his head. "None whatsoever. It's like he just disappeared."   


"We found some blood leading away, but the trail came to a dead end halfway down the alley," Selphie piped up. "After that, nada."   


I said nothing, just thought for a moment. "They could have been with that man who tried to buy me a drink at the bar," I mused out loud.   


"Guy?" Squall asked. "What guy?"   


I quickly briefed them on what happened, including what I felt when he touched me. As I talked Zell came in, but there was still no sign of Seifer. "He may have been counting on Seifer's reaction to get us thrown out of the bar like we were."   


Irvine snorted. "So his being a hothead got the both of you beaten up."   


I fixed him with a glare and her threw up his hands. "Alright, alright, forget I said that."   


"What's up with you two?" Zell asked, looking between Irvine and I.   


"Nothing," I replied just as Irvine said, "She's on a 'Save Seifer' crusade or something."   


Zell looked puzzled. "Why'd you want to do that? He doesn't need any help, just a therapist." He, Selphie, and Irvine snickered at the joke while the rest just looked amused.   


Irrational anger curled in my belly as I realized that just twenty-four hours prior I'd been exactly like them, cracking jokes at Seifer's expense. My hands curled into fists, I spat out, "If you'd all stop acting like jackasses, I'd like to know what's been happening."   


That stopped the laughter but now everyone was staring at me strangely. Squall, bless his heart, got the hint fastest and began talking. "The raid on Galbadia Garden wasn't expected. As Irvine told you it was an inside operation, but what he didn't tell you because he himself didn't even know was that the whole garden had rebelled."   


I glanced over at Irvine and realized from his anguished but unsurprised expression that he'd already been told. He quickly looked away, not meeting my eyes.   


"Cid is sure, as are we, that the whole deal is somehow connected to a form of sorcery. Your original mission would have hopefully found out more about this, but the assignment came too late.   


"There is also a possibility that some or all of us may be targets."   


"Targets?" I questioned. "For what?"   


"Contacts of Cid's have told us that someone out there wants us, preferably alive. The reasons are unknown, but Cid isn't going to take any chances on any of us being compromised."   


"So," Seifer's voice wafted suddenly from the entrance, "who started the party without me." He sauntered in, leaning a hip against the table. "Oh, don't stop on my account," he drawled, waving his hand airily. "We can't have that."   


Squall gave him a disgusted look but continued the narrative. "Anyway, Cid decided the best thing to do would be for us to stick together, to be able to back up one another if anything were to happen. Rinoa," he slanted her a look, to which she just beamed, "was to stay secure at Balamb but as you can see she's .. here."   


"And not leaving anytime soon either," she added, giving me a wink.   


"So we're going to G-Garden to determine the situation? A simple recon mission?"   


"Actually," Squall hedged, "we don't exactly...have a mission. We're to go back to B-Garden and do anything we can from there, since our faces are too well known."   


I opened my mouth to protest, then shut it again. I wasn't going to question the Headmaster's orders, and they did make sense. I had no idea what exactly we could do at Garden, but our faces were too popular to succeed at anything undercover.   


"You mean the mission's off?" Seifer sounded surprised, and I knew he had to be pleased at the turn of events.   


"I think that's what the man said," Zell muttered.   


"Thanks for the refresher, chicken-wuss," Seifer replied, but his voice lacked the mocking quality usually associated with the hated nickname. Zell seemed to notice too because the tension quickly left his stance and his good-humored look quickly reestablished itself.   


"Because of the attack we're stepping up on our leaving time. We have a transport ready to go just outside the town's limits." Turning to me Squall asked, "Do you have anything in your hotel room?"   


"Seifer's coat and gunblade were the only things left there," I replied and motioned towards the blond man. "He's got those now."   


"Good. So if nobody has any objections, I say we get a move on now."   


* * * * * * *   


This had seriously been the easiest assignment of my life. Not even my SeeD instructor exam mission had been remotely as simple. It was almost ... depressing.   


We were all sitting in the transport, some of us dozing, when an explosion rocked the car. Less than a second later another explosion sounded, this one lifting the passenger side and throwing us against our belts.   


The third one toppled the vehicle, and the only thing that kept us from being thrown around as we rolled were the safety harnesses securing us to the sides of the transport.   


We had probably only rolled once but by the time we stopped all of us were thoroughly thrashed and hanging upside down. I could feel blood running across my forehead from a gash above my eye, and my chest hurt from crashing against the belts. I saw that Irvine and Seifer had been knocked cold, but I couldn't tell the condition of Rinoa and Squall who were in the front seats.   


Selphie was struggling with her belts, a similar gash to mind bleeding from high on her forehead. The seatbelt suddenly released and with a squeak she fell down to the top of the transport. Managing to land nimbly on her feet she withdrew Strange Vision and held it at battle ready.   


Grabbing the seat behind me I undid the belt clasp then slowly lowered myself down. Ribs protesting, I unslung Save the Queen and glanced at Selphie. "You okay?"   


"I'll live," she murmured back even as I heard someone groan behind me. I heard Irvine curse, but faint footsteps coming from outside drew my attention.   


The rear doors suddenly wrenched open, and I readied Save the Queen for action. A figure stepped in and I whipped my arm back in preparation to strike... And stopped dead as I realized who it was.   


"Hello again, Quistis," Headmaster Martine stated smoothly. "Surprised to see me?"   


There was the very faint sound of something moving through the air then something pricked the side of my neck. I whirled around, lashing out with the whip even as I spotted the two cloaked intruders hunched over the slumped figures of Rinoa and Squall. I held back on the blow so that neither of my friends would be hurt in the backlash, but the two attackers were still blown out the window by the hit. My arm might as well have been jelly by the end of the maneuver, however, and blackness was beginning to rush in from the edges of my sight.   


"Crap," I heard Selphie mutter just before I heard something collapse, and my knees gave way as I tried to turn around. The last thing I saw was the smirking face of Galbadia Garden's former Headmaster watching me from what seemed high above and the whole scene faded away.   


--0--   


Climbing back to consciousness wasn't nearly as easy as going under had been. I came awake, but was so groggy for a moment or two that if there had been any danger at that instant, I would have been helpless to fight it. Blurry vision, a sticky mouth, and a pain behind my eyes were my companions as I once again joined the world of the living.   


Of course, having my hands and feet tied down served to bring me awake a bit faster, especially when the bonds were as tight as these were. When your arms and legs are tied down at very peculiar angles, one tends to realize much more quickly that they dreaming.   


"Ah, so she awakens. Very good."   


I wasn't prepared to deal with any threats at the moment - heck, I doubted I would be able to do anything even with ten minutes to recuperate, I was still so out of it - so I froze. A faint chuckle from somewhere to my right indicated that I had amused the owner of the voice and the upwelling of annoyance further served to make me more aware of my surroundings. Only...at that moment, there *were* no surroundings, at least none that I could see. It was pitch black and utterly silent, the darkness almost suffocating; I had no idea whether I was in a broom closet or a huge warehouse. A trickle of impatience flowed up my spine and I asked the darkness, "Selphie? Squall? Seifer? Zell?"   


"They're not here," a sultry male voice echoed through the darkness, a note of amusement evident. Then silence again.   


It's not a pleasant feeling to be helpless in the dark, alone with an enemy you can't see; your mind starts to play tricks on you, making you think you see movements where there are none. I kept my eyes focused straight ahead, determined to keep any uneasiness I might be feeling as far from the surface as possible.   


Somewhere behind me the man clucked his tongue, making tsk-ing noises as if chiding a child. "My dear Quistis, there is no need to fear me. I am simply a messenger of news."   


"How do you know who I am?" I asked, my voice neutral.   


"Who does not know of the great Quistis Trepe?" he replied grandly, his voice moving around to my left. I could hear the very faint sound of clothing, and concentrated on that. "You and your friends are, suffice to say, very famous nowadays."   


"What have you done with them?" I asked coldly, testing my bonds yet again. They were tied securely yet not so tight as to cut off circulation, and seemed to be made of a soft fabric. The more I moved the less they felt like rope or wire, but that didn't make it any less sturdy.   


"You needn't worry about your friends, Ms. Trepe," he replied smoothly. "They are safe and sound far from here. To be quite honest, it was you who I was wanting to catch up with."   


Instead of asking why, I remained silent. It wasn't very difficult to tell that he was baiting me, waiting for me to ask him for the reason we had been taken. I refused to allow him any upper hand; having me tied and, Hyne help me, helpless would be all I'd give him. In addition to that... I wasn't sure I could keep my words as composed as I had before; there was something very strange about his voice that gave me butterflies in my stomach.   


The minutes stretched by as neither of us spoke, then I heard him chuckle to my left again. "I admire your stubbornness, my dear, but our time grows short. I must tell you something that will be of great importance to you later..."   


"Then why attack us if you had only a message?" I interrupted, a little anger unwillingly leaking into my voice. I cursed inwardly, struggling to gain back control over myself. Something about the voice was ... was ... I don't know how to describe it, but my mouth had gotten suddenly dry, my brain felt like it was fogging over, my breathing was beginning to come in short pants...   


"It wasn't I who attacked you." A bit of consternation had leaked into his voice as well, but somehow I knew it wasn't directed at me. "They are who you should be fearing, not myself. That they got past my guard so easily..." Clothing rustled loudly and footsteps could now be heard, albeit faintly, moving around my front and up to my right. Another rustle, and I knew that he had kneeled beside me. I couldn't see him, couldn't hear him, but I knew he was right there not three feet away from me; my heart wouldn't stop hammering. Him speaking seconds later confirmed it.   


"For what is coming, you will need to be strong." His voice sounded as though it were mere inches away from my ear, yet I didn't feel any breath.   


"W..what are you d-doing to me?" I murmured, my voice breathy and a great deal less forceful than I'd have liked. Ah Hyne, his coming closer had amplified the sensation, and swallowing hard I grit my teeth to keep from moaning.   


He himself drew in a shaky breath and I had a sudden suspicion that, in spite of his own calm voice, he was being affected as well. Whether his being affected was less than mine or he had more self control than I did was unknown, but again clothes rustled as he drew away. The effect was that the sensations lessened but didn't leave, not by a longshot.   


"It's an unfortunate side affect of who we are," he explained, his voice oddly strained. "Although I had not thought it would be like this so soon..."   


"What do you mean, what we are?" The distance allowed me a moment to collect myself and my voice no longer shook, although it sounded strained to my ears.   


Silence reigned, then my unseen captor let out a sigh. "I made a mistake in seeking you out so soon when I myself was not ready for this."   


I had no idea what he was talking about, and repeated my question, "What did you mean by that, what we *are*?"   


"All in due time, my dear Quistis," he murmured, his voice farther away now. "This meeting was premature, yet I don't regret meeting you. I should have waited though, I only sought to warn you..." His voice trailed off, then he began to murmured something in a language I didn't know. As I knew all the languages of this world as well as a few dead ones, this bothered me.   


"I must wipe away this memory," he muttered, the sultry tone to his voice gone as he concentrated. "I only wished... Quistis, you must be careful in the coming days. Something is after you, and will stop at nothing to get to you and what you represent."   


"Wha..." He had said the last bit very quickly, almost immediately beginning to chant. "You're not just a messenger are you? Wait, why do you... Don't--"   


A burst of energy filled my chest as one of my junctioned Guardian Forces burst forth, called by the man before me. I was helpless to stop it; once a GF is released no force on this earth could stop it.   


Quezacotle filled the room, his unearthly screech filling the space. The darkness was rent immediately by the GF's lightening, momentarily blinding me.   


"If nothing else, remember to beware the coming danger," my captor's voice whispered behind me. "We cannot finish this if you are lost."   


"What do you mean --" Any words I might have said stuttered to a halt as a gloved hand cupped the side of my face. Flames, both hot and cold, raced through my body and blanked my mind as my back arched out of the chair. I heard Quezacotle's answering roar, then nothing as everything once again went black.   



	6. The Deal

6   


  


"Let me get this straight Instructor: you were all attacked, drugged into unconsciousness, and deposited back here at Balamb garden. There is nothing else to report?"   


"No sir." That was it. We were attacked while on the road, then brought and dropped off at Balamb Garden which had been our destination anyway.   


When we had shown up and told Garden staff what had happened, we had been subjected to a barrage of tests both magical and medical. Nobody could believe nothing had happened between the attack and our subsequent waking up, and I couldn't blame them; I didn't believe it either. Several hours later, according to Dr. Kadowaki no one had any tracking devices, mechanical inserts, curses, or other spells attached to them. It hadn't been fun; Zell had been particularly vocal when Dr. Kadowaki had pulled out what looked to be a very long probe of some sort and told him to lie on his stomach on the table. It was difficult to keep from breaking out in a grin at the memory; I doubted Irvine was going to let him live it down. None of us would.   


"And Dr. Kadowaki cleared you all half an hour ago," he murmured, shuffling through the papers on his desk. It sounded more like a rhetorical question, as if Cid was thinking out loud so I remained silent. He read the report again, as if looking for anything that was amiss, then let out a sigh. "I don't have to tell you how irregular I find this, Quistis," he murmured, running his hand through his hair.   


"No sir, I feel exactly the same way." There was something we were missing, I was dead sure of it. Nobody, absolutely nobody, successfully attacked a SeeD transport and didn't do anything but let them off at their final destination. Something had happened to us while we'd been unconscious, but it was impossible to tell what.   


Obviously reluctant to put that train of thought aside, Cid sighed and sat back in his chair. "Did Martine seem normal to you? Could he have been controlled?"   


The same question had been going around in my head, and I replied, "I don't know. He seemed to recognize us, even named me and hinted at past relations but... I just don't know. He wasn't the Martine I was used to seeing; it was as if any friendship we might have had in the past, any good business relations, had been erased."   


Cid just nodded, looking troubled. I knew what he was thinking about - heck, it was all I'd been wondering. Had Martine finally snapped after Galbadia's original downfall? When we had found him at Fisherman's Horizon he'd been babbling, very obviously a broken man; that had been one of the reasons he hadn't been asked to take up the Headmaster position with the refurbished Galbadia. He had been anything *but* broken on the road to Balamb.   


"Okay then, thank you for the briefing Instructor. Dismissed."   


Giving him a quick salute, I headed out of the office of the Headmaster down the elevator. What I needed right now was a good, long shower and then perhaps a quick trip to the training grounds. Rests and relaxation were probably more what the doctor ordered but that wasn't my style; I hated not having something to do.   


"Instructor! Instructor Trepe!"   


I turned sharply and barely kept myself from being bowled over by three of my students. With a sinking feeling I realized I'd been ambushed by my three most ardent Trepies. Marcus Derlini, Sandra Martel, and Myla Rayburn had, long before our little adventure, duly appointed themselves president, vice-president, and secretary, respectively, of the Quistis Trepe fanclub. From then on, there had been no escaping them.   


"Instructor Trepe, I'm SO happy you're back!" Myla fairly squealed, staring adoringly up at me. Come to think of it, they all were staring at me like that, as if whatever I said next would be the greatest thing since the invention of steel.   


I was feeling particularly annoyed right at the moment and wanted nothing more than to tell them to leave me alone, but when I opened my mouth what came out was, "Nice to see you all too." I'm too nice for my own good sometimes, I thought bitterly, watching as their adoring expressions only grew happier. Had Seifer been right, did I really like this attention? It annoyed me to no end, but I just couldn't find it in my heart to tell them to leave...   


"You're okay, right?" Marcus asked in a worried voice, giving me a once-over that, if it had been any other male student, I would have written them up for. "We heard a little about what happened, but they wouldn't tell us any details."   


"That is all very strange," Sandra stated, a faint frown tightening her brow. "On top of getting assigned a mission with that..."   


I heard a snide chuckle come from my left. "Oh, did I come at a bad time Quistis?" a sarcastic voice asked. "Should I come back after your little flock of followers has dispersed to spread your gospel?"   


Immediately recognizing the voice and lacking the patience to deal with it I turned, ignoring the group of students around me, and squared off with Seifer. "In Balamb Garden you will address me as Instructor Trepe, or I will take points from your record."   


He smirked, causing the younger students to fall back behind me. "You honestly think I care about SeeD points Quistis," he drawled, emphasizing my first name yet again. "And from an instructor who's had her license revoked before..."   


"Don't you insult Instructor Trepe!" Sandra stated fiercly, coming around to my left and standing up to Seifer.   


"Y--yeah, you big meany," Myla piped up, peeking around my other side, still slightly behind me.   


Only Seifer saw me roll my eyes as I turned to shut up my fan club, as I could take care of myself perfectly well, but then Marcus added angrily, "You don't have any room to talk, murderer. You shouldn't even have been allowed to come back."   


My eyes snapped to Marcus in disbelief then over to Seifer. The blond man had gone rigid, the hand clasped over the gunblade handle tightening. His face was decidedly neutral, the smirk completely wiped away now as he surveyed the four of us in front of him. "So, Instructor," he said slowly, his voice as devoid of emotion as his face, "this is what you teach those who look up to you." He seemed to want to say more, but a muscle ticked in his cheek and he turned away, marching down the main staircase and out of the main Garden quad.   


Beside me Marcus snorted. "Serves him ri--"   


"Twenty points from your record Marcus Derlini," I snapped, rounding on the boy. "And if I ever, ever catch you bad-mouthing him again, I will take twenty points off your record and have you called up in front of the Headmaster."   


Marcus' mouth open and shut repeatedly but no sounds came out. Myla and Sandra were also staring at me like I had suddenly grown horns.   


I lowered my voice, incensed beyond belief. "The same goes for any SeeD cadet I hear badmouthing another member of this Garden. The first rule you must learn above all others is that, in team missions, your comrades are what keeps you on this side of the living. They watch your back, protect you if necessary, save you from impossible situations. If there is any disunity, anything in the way of your team's cohesive bond, you will all die. Do - you - understand - me?"   


"Bu..but Instructor Trepe," Myla stammered, her lower lip quivering, "he... he doesn't deserve..."   


"Ms. Rayburn," I grit out, "don't make me have to detract another twenty points from your record as well. I mean it, anybody I hear badmouthing Seifer will have demerits stacked against them so fast they'll have to retake their seventh year."   


Three shocked and extremely disillusioned faces stared back at me, and I relented somewhat. "Listen," I said in a softer voice, "someday you all will be sent out on missions like the rest of us officers. The people with you in school now will be those who accompany you on these missions. If there is no trust, if you believe that another SeeD will kill you when your back is turned, it'll be a bullet from the a real enemy that will get your unprotected back. Every mission requires, first and foremost, trust in those you end up with. If there is no trust, then the mission is doomed to fail. Think about it," I added, ruffling Marcus' hair affectionately, "while I go do some damage control."   


Their faces didn't lose the disillusioned look as I turned and jogged in the direction Seifer took, and I wondered if I'd lost my fanclub. At the moment, though, I had bigger worries - Seifer had again disappeared. I looked all around, hoping to spot him but saw nothing. Muttering a curse I think everyone would be surprised I even knew I took off at a jog, determined to find Seifer and...well, I'd think about that when the time came.   


* * * * * * *   


Forty-five minutes later I finally found him. So much for the pleasant bath, I thought sourly, walking down the long corridor to the training center. I don't know why I hadn't thought to look here first - possibly because he'd taken off in the opposite direction initially. He must have gone right around the quad while I was searching the south area; indeed I would have taken much longer finding him if someone hadn't pointed me in the right direction.   


I let the west side doors slide open and nearly tripped over the body of a very dispatched monster. Another lay beside it in similar fashion, ripped to shreds by a very sharp weapon, and the next by a large explosion.   


It didn't take a genius to figure out who has a weapon with both a cutting edge and ammo.   


Seifer was near the middle of the training grounds, finishing off a huge T-rexaur. I unslung Save The Queen in case he needed help but stayed back, allowing him to finish this battle. He seemed to be holding his own, to say the least; it took him only two more rounds from when I arrived on the scene to finish off the huge beast.   


I reattached the whip to my belt and clapped appreciatively, but Seifer ignored me. He cast a simple Heal on himself, wiped off his gunblade on the thin grass, and started the other way.   


Rolling my eyes yet again, I jogged after the retreating figure, calling, "Seifer, wait up will you?"   


He didn't break his stride in the slightest but didn't speed up either. I guess he didn't want to give the impression that he was running from me. Exasperated, I ran up and placed myself in front of him only to have him move around me. I moved in front of him again, and again, and again, until finally he turned to me in agitation and said, "Can't you watch where you're going?"   


I just shrugged, then stepped back in his way yet again when he tried to go around me. Instead of blowing up at me like I'd been hoping for, he started off the other way instead, heading towards the other end of the arena.   


Grumbling about best laid plans, I hurried back up to him. "Seifer wait, I need to talk to you."   


"About what, Instructor?" he answered in a cold voice.   


Oh dear, back to being 'Instructor,' which meant he was still angry at me. Well, no duh. "Listen, I want to apologize for what was said back there..."   


"Afraid I'll go off and beat up your little fanclub, Instructor?" he interrupted cooly, still not looking at me. "You needn't worry, I don't fight opponents who don't stand a chance like your little Trepies."   


"No, that isn't it," I said, although I was happy to know they'd be okay. "I just wanted to tell you that I never told them any of that stuff, even before you were reaccepted. They must have gotten it elsewhere but I'm going to put a stop to it from now on."   


"Ooh, my hero," Seifer said in a mocking voice, twirling his gunblade lazily. "Imagine that, Instructor Trepe going out of her way to bring justice for little old me."   


Irritation boiling over, I snapped, "Well if you'd stop feeling sorry for yourself you might consider changing your own attitude a bit. Hyne knows, it couldn't hurt matters."   


He glanced at me, then burst out laughing. "Sorry Instructor, but if they can't take me as I am then that's their loss." Still chuckling he continued away, leaving me standing there.   


Seething, my own fists clenching and unclenching, I watched him walk off. What an arrogant prick! For the love of Hyne, here I was trying to help him out and he laughs in my face. It was no wonder nobody had ever wanted to help him, he wouldn't accept or allow it. He really was an insensitive, boorish, arrogant, bullheaded, meanspirited...   


My thoughts trailed off as I noticed something. The hand around his gunblade was pure white, as if he had a deathgrip on the weapon. He happened to turn sideways so I saw his profile and, far from being amused, his face had a determined look as his eyes darted to and fro, looking for more prey to vent on.   


I could never deign to call myself an authority on Seifer. The man was more unpredictable than a hexadragon during mating season, but I thought I knew where he came from. The past few days at least had given me something of an insight into his life up until now, at least the more recent parts of it. He had, like me, come to the training grounds to let off some steam in the only way he knew how to do: fighting. But when you're pissed off at the world, fighting a few monsters meant for younger cadets didn't do the trick. Perhaps a T-rexaur or two was nice once in a while, but they were getting fewer and farther between, difficult to find in this training area. Sometimes it took a one-on-one match-up with somebody, some person who was at your level to really get it out of your system. Perhaps that was the reason he and Squall had gotten into the battle which had resulted in each of their mirroring scars; they'd never told me the real reason why, I'd always assumed it was male machisimo.   


"Hey Seifer," I called, jogging up again to meet him. He still ignored me but I ignored that in turn. "How about you and me sparring a bit?"   


That got his attention and he turned cold eyes on me. He eyed me up and down as if appraising me, which made me feel slightly uncomfortable, and smirked. "No thanks, I don't deal in such one-sided fights."   


I'd seen that one coming from a mile away but it still stung. "What's the matter Seifer," I taunted, "afraid that my iddy-biddy whip will take out your big manly gunblade?"   


I think my sinking into kiddy jargon surprised him because he gave me another appraising look, this time genuine amusement behind the usual smirk. "Okay, fine instructor, I'll meet you in the sparring room in half an hour. Don't forget to show up."   


"On one condition!" I blurted out, surprising even myself. I definitely surprised Seifer this time, because he blinked a couple times in my direction.   


"A condition? My dear Quistis Trepe, you were the one who begged me to spar with you and as such are in no position to impose conditions..."   


"Fine then, a challenge. Every time I win a session, you will answer one question."   


Seifer frowned. "That's not much of a challenge, what's in it for me?"   


I just shrugged. "Same case if you win, I'll answer one question. Deal?"   


Seifer stroked the side of his jaw with one thumb, debating the rules. "The thing is, Instructor, I already know all I want to know about you. Whereas I'm sure you have a bit of an advantage because you don't know as much about me."   


"Take it or leave it Seifer," I stated smugly, crossing my arms over my chest.   


He seemed to debate a bit more, than a wicked grin came over his face. "I have a better option Instructor. How about if you win you get one question, and if I win I get a kiss."   


Holy shi... That wiped the grin off my face. "What?!"   


"You heard me," he replied, imitating my earlier stance by crossing his arms and smiling smugly. "One question or one kiss, depending on the winner. Still up to it Instructor?"   


Oh Hyne, oh Hyne, what had I gotten myself into? He was so certain he had me there, that I'd say no and leave him be for the rest of the day. I could tell there would be no budging from his position either; he had the upper hand and knew it, and there was no way he would be relinquishing it without a fight. Oh Hyne...   


Trying to bolster my courage I glanced at Hyperion and back to Save The Queen, gauging the strengths of each weapon. Both were advaned weapons and extremely powerful in their own ways but, well, talk about distraction! I suppose having the possibility of kissing Seifer hanging over your head if you lose a battle is one heck of a motivation.   


Seifer's smirk widened as I stood there debating. "Time's up Instructor, I guess I'll be seeing you in class later..."   


"Yes!"   


"Huh?"   


Huh?! Oh no, I'd accepted! I could tell by Seifer's look that, once again this afternoon, I'd surprised him. Trying to tamp down the sick feeling in my stomach I nodded hard to get the point across more. "Thirty minutes from now, sparring room. Got that Seifer?" If my stomach hadn't had millions of butterflies suddenly hatch and take flight, I might have found Seifer's expression priceless. Knowing my poker face would slip at any instant I turned around quickly and, on unsteady legs, made my way out of the training yard. I could feel the weight of Seifer's eyes on me all the way out of the facility.   


Oh, Hyne, what had I just done?   


  



	7. Duels of Honor

7   


  


As desperate as I was to take a shower, the miniscule one I took between leaving the training area and arriving at the gym wasn't enough to relax me. It didn't help that I had the duel with Seifer in mere minutes, a situation in which I had shot my own foot. I could have sworn I'd been prepared for anything Seifer threw at me, but that one little condition... I suppose he'd had a lifetime learning how to get the upper hand, and that I'd been naive to think I could outwit him in the insults department.   


I was seriously tempted not to show up, but I knew I could never do that. No matter if I had to lock lips with the devil himself (which, by all accounts, I was coming close), I've never backed down from anything I didn't have to and wasn't about to start now. But why on earth had Seifer decided on that form of payback? Unbidden, the "Quistis Almasy" memory wiggled its way to the surface; I quickly brushed it aside, loathe to dwell on it or its implications. He'd been delirious at the time anyway, he couldn't be held accountable for anything he said or did... Nuh uh, I was NOT going to think about it.   


Dressed in my normal workout clothing, a sleeveless green top and some grey shorts, I headed into the gym, moving through the co-ed locker rooms towards the large room used for duels and one-on-one matches. In not-too-distant history, before I had become an instructor, this room had been a regular hangout for those interested in putting their skills to the test against fellow classmates. Cid had eventually banned the practice when several fights had gotten out of hand, injuring students and a few onlookers as well when duels began to be more the norm. Fights over the members of the opposite sex, over supposed tarnished honor, over who got which bunk - the list went on and on, some more absurd than others. The room had been given the nickname of the Dueling hall, and while duels no longer went on in it since Cid ordered it under constant surveillance, the name had stuck.   


I walked into the room to see Seifer warming himself up with a few swings of the gunblade. Surprisingly enough, he looked as nervous as I felt, at least in the first instant I walked through the door. The minute he saw me his face shifted to the smirk he always wore and he gave me a mock salute.   


"So Instructor, ready to duel?" he said grandly, bowing slightly with his arms outstretched to the sides, his eyes not leaving mine.   


"This isn't a duel and you know it Seifer," I stated coldly, pacing the mat but not taking my eyes off him. I fingered my whip as if for reassurance that it was there, that I had some sort of defense or weapon for this. He looked much too confident and, despite my faith in my own skills, I couldn't feel quite the same. I had seen him wield that gunblade on several occassions; how we ever beat him when Adel and Ultimecia controlled him I'll never know, but that had still been with three of us working together, never one on one.   


"And here I thought you wouldn't be showing, Instructor," Seifer drawled, resting his weight on the gunblade. "Did I tear you away from your daily primping, hm?"   


I touched my hair, still wet from the shower, and glowered at him. "Let's just get on with this," I muttered, unslinging Save The Queen and moving onto the main mat.   


"Touchy, Instructor," he taunted, clearly enjoying himself. "It was your idea, don't forget."   


Was it just me, or was he being even more annoying than usual? Realizing that was impossible, as he was already as annoying as it could get, I unfurled the whip in preparation of the battle. Sparks flew off the tip as it brushed against the ground, as if Save The Queen was looking forward to more battle. Hyne knew, it hadn't seen any real combat in weeks.   


We circled each other slowly, nobody wanting to give ground first. Seifer still had the smirk on his face but his eyes had changed, become more concentrated on my movements. He made the first move, whirling the gunblade around and slashing downwards with blurring speed. There had been no warning, no tensing of muscles or that tiny crouch before pushing off, but I was ready nonetheless and danced out of the way, lashing out with the whip as he passed. He spun about too quickly, knocking the blow away then again launched himself at me. I darted to the left, twirling and bringing the whip around to again hit him, and again missed. Less than five seconds after starting, we were again facing one another.   


"Not bad, Instructor," he remarked. Neither of us were panting, we hadn't really begun to fight yet. I guess we were each testing the other, weighing them against a portion of our own skill. I, for one, hadn't even begun to really get into it - I highly doubted that was the best Seifer could do if he'd taken three of us on before.   


This time it was me who went on the offensive first, lashing out with the whip towards Hyperion. He knocked that aside easily, as I knew he would, and lunged at me. He was quick, I had to give him that as I had to do some very quick gymnastics to keep from being sliced by the gunblade. I leaped high in the air, recoiling my whip, and lashed out all before my feet hit the mat. As I had hoped he himself jumped away from the whip's head, giving me a chance to get my feet back under me. Unfortunately, I'd given ground to him, moving back towards my end of the room even though it had been me attacking first. I could see he'd noticed the same thing, his smirk had widened but he didn't say anything as he again rushed silently toward me.   


The next minute of fighting was by far one of the most intense sessions I've ever had outside of real combat. Neither of us were especially vocal as we fought; the silence was eerie, the only noises being those of the weapons hitting one another or the walls. He was faster with the gunblade than I had anticipated, each hand equally powerful when he switched ambidextrously depending on my position. At one point my whip lashed around his ankle, sweeping his feet out from under him, but even as he was going down and I thought I'd won the first session his finger closed around the gunblade trigger and I had to dodge extremely quickly to keep from being shot. He landed heavily on his back, but before I could take advantage of it he'd thrown his legs into the air, arched his back and landed gracefully on his feet again. "Is that the best you can do, *Instructor*?" he asked again. He wasn't even winded.   


I wished I could say the same.   


We stared at one another yet again, then took action at the same time. My whip lashed out and he knocked it sideways, just as I'd been hoping he would. He moved forward yet again and I yanked back on my weapon, making it come screaming back to meet him. Seifer must have seen what I was intending to do because his eyes widened, but he'd barely begun to dodge when the tip hit him in the back and exploded. I had to move out of the way as he was propelled forward and onto the ground behind me.   


It was my turn to smirk as I watched him get agilely to his feet, turn and look at me like he'd never seen me before. "I believe that was one win for me," I said, watching him closely in case he tried to do anything. "And, one answer from you."   


His face again became inscrutable, although his brow was furrowed just a bit. I half expected him to refuse, but not taking his eyes from me he muttered, "Ask."   


"Has the reaction since you arrived back been as bad as it was at the train station and with Marcus?"   


His eyes winced ever so slightly at the question but other than that there was no outward reaction. "Yes," he said darkly, his gaze never leaving mine.   


"Why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked, frowning.   


"Nope, that's two questions," Seifer replied and immediately attacked again. I was ready and danced out of the way, lashing out with my own weapon. Another two minutes passed, in which we parried, thrust, slashed, flung - very intense, believe me. Both of us were good with our respective weapons, it just remained to be seen who had more aces up their sleaves. By the time the two of us paused again we were both sweating, Seifer as much as me. It amazed me, quite frankly, what he could do with that gunblade of his; the thing had to weight at least thirty kilos, but he just twirled it about like it was a twig. The training for use of a gunblade was intense; I had been required to read up on it to get my teaching credentials, and it had given me new respect for both Squall and Seifer. Ninety percent of those who took it up eventually chose something else, unable to handle the rigorous training and manipulation of the heavy weapon.   


The smirk was gone, his concentration completely on the fight - never a good thing when you were his opponent. I attacked first this time, lashing out even as I dove sideways to keep from being skewered. Save The Queen snaked inside his guard, wrapping around his arm and neck before he could dodge it. He slashed at it with Hyperion but it would take a great deal more than a sharp surface to sever my whip, and before he could aim the gunblade at me I yanked hard, rushing in at the same time to go after his lower body.   


It worked, much to my surprise; his legs were swept out from under him and he landed on his shoulder, getting immediately to his hands and knees. He stopped there though as I snapped the whip an inch from his face. "My second victory," I said smugly. He said nothing, just stared at the whip's tip on the ground before him as he stood up the rest of the way. I recoiled the whip back, intent that he not grab it.   


"Why did you come back to Garden, Seifer?"   


I could see his jaw clench and his eyes burn as he turned his gaze to me. The question hadn't been expected - good. Perhaps that would elicit an honest answer from him.   


That hope was dashed when he smirked and said, "Because I could."   


"Tell me the truth Seifer," I grit out, annoyed.   


His eyes suddenly hardened and narrowed in anger, but as to why I had no idea. "Maybe that *is* the truth, Trepe." And with that he again launched himself at me.   


If he had been holding back at all before, he wasn't anymore. There was no more room for me to attack anymore; all my concentration was focused on defending myself from the slashes and blasts. Whips were not made to be close-range weapons, but I could no longer get the distance I needed; he kept invading my space so that none of my strikes, when I could fit one in, hit him. Whenever I did strike he dodged it easily, leaving me open and forced to do some very risky moves to avoid being slashed. He also started using his ammo, which had me leaping to and fro to dodge it. At one point I felt the bullet graze the calf of my left leg and I knew he wasn't just playing anymore. Maybe we never had been; I certainly hadn't held back any blows after the first bit. Watching him now though, I had the sinking suspicion that he might have been doing just that.   


He was crowding too close, and I needed room to maneuver. It was time for something risky, and I leapt back to put distance between us. My back was less than two feet from the wall and I knew I was trapped, but I sent my whip high into the rafters above us. Not even tugging to make sure it was attached, I threw myself sideways as hard as I could. I heard the metallic ring of the gunblade slicing through the air where I had just been as my feet were lifted off the ground, the whip pulling tight and making me rise sideways up in the air like a pendulum. My feet connected with the wall briefly, barely a toe-hold, but it was enough to get me the forward momentum needed to swing the rest of the semi-circle and back to the ground. I whirled around to face Seifer, only to be stopped short before taking another step.   


Panting slightly, I stared up the gunblade into the cold blue eyes of the winner of this match. How on earth had he managed to move so fast across the room? He was breathing hard, sweat pouring down his face just like mine, a couple of small scratches along his cheek and neck from where I had caught him unawares. I had similar scrapes all over my body, times when the blade came too close or the bullets had nearly struck home. Neither of us spoke, and only one thing was going through my mind.   


I had lost. Oh Hyne, I had lost.   


--0--   


We stayed that way for what seemed like an eternity, staring at one another while catching our breath. Seifer was the first to react, his eyes coming back into focus and losing the battle-ready glare they'd been giving me. He stepped back and raised the gunblade to his shoulder, his face inscrutable. I rose to my feet, idly coiling up my whip. I couldn't look at him; I had this funny feeling that if I did I'd run from the room screaming.   


"Well, Instructor," Seifer said casually. "Looks like I win this round."   


I forced my eyes to look at him, afraid of what I'd find. I wasn't quite prepared for the slight frown that was playing across his features. Even when he saw me looking at him he didn't wipe it away; his brow furrowed more, as if he himself was puzzling over what to do next.   


Confused now but not wanting to give any ground I nodded cautiously, glancing around the room as if for support. Nothing, of course; I'd gotten myself into this predicament, it was my duty to go through with it.   


There was a growl from Seifer and before I could respond I was shoved roughly backwards against the wall behind me, slamming hard enough to make me catch my breath. Two thick arms stood quivering on either side of my head, one pinning my right arm almost parallel to my neck, the other clenched in a fist to my left. The wall was protected by a mat so mine was a soft landing, but seeing Seifer's face mere inches from mine made me stop wondering why he hadn't been rougher. His eyes searched my face, looking for something - again, I had no idea what. I kept my face neutral, barely managing not to flinch even as his own came closer.   


His gaze flickered low on my face, then back up to my eyes. "I could, you know," he growled, his eyes burning.   


He was close enough that his breath grazed my face, and I shivered. I knew what he meant, understood him completely...but it wasn't fear that made me shiver. Something else was clouding my mind, blurring the rest of the room around Seifer's face, and I wasn't sure I wanted to examine the feeling very closely. Again his eyes flickered down my face, and I tried to back further into the wall.   


He must have felt my withdrawal because his eyes narrowed and grew heated. He stared at me with an unreadable expression, then asked, "Why did you accept the challenge?"   


My mouth went dry. His breath smelled of mint and coffee, and it dawned on me just how close he was. I had never willingly let anyone this close before; any others who might have attempted it had been put swiftly and painfully in their place. Every so often a new student would try to impress his friends by putting the moves on Instructor Trepe, but they always came out the loser. Indeed, my mind was going through moves I could use on Seifer designed to inflict maximum damage and humiliation in a relatively short time...yet I just stood there, staring stupidly up at him.   


"I repeat, Instructor, why did you accept my challenge if you were afraid of the consequences?"   


"Huh?" I hadn't been paying attention to what he'd said, so realizing I'd been asked the same question twice confused me. What was it he wanted again?   


His head jerked back in surprise at my answer, the angry look fading from his eyes. They narrowed again, and this time a slow smile played across his mouth. Before I could think of why, Seifer lowered his head and my breath rattled in my throat as he nuzzled my hair, his lips breathing past my ear. Going lower still he trailed his chin and nose down across the unprotected side of my neck, nestling his face in the hollow of the left side of my throat. His lips never moved, never trailed kisses as I had seen Rinoa do to Squall sometimes, but a fierce burning sensation traveled up from my stomach to my chest and I had to bite back a moan. Seifer lifted his head again, and now the ghost of his familiar smirk moved across his lips. His eyes were different, though, a deep burning green I'd never seen before. Of course, I'd never been this close to Seifer either.   


Maybe it was the smirk that did it, or maybe I just suddenly realized who it was I was snogging. Reality trickled through my mind, and although it didn't wipe away what was happening to my body my mind finally began to work again. "Will you just get it over with Seifer?" I asked coldly even as my body cried out for much more.   


I don't think I meant to be that blunt, certainly not that cold, but it had an interesting effect on Seifer. There was a moment of shock, as if whatever he thought I was going to say wasn't that, then...hurt. Shame. Rejection. Anger. In that order, and all flashing past in an instant. I was close enough to see what it was and understand it.   


The hand still gripping my wrist tightened as his face grew cold again, a muscle ticking furiously in his jaw. He looked incensed beyond belief, and I knew that, somehow, I had hurt him personally. Now I was starting to really fear for my safety, but before I could try anything he shoved away from me, picked up his gunblade in one fluid motion, and stalked silently out of the dueling hall. I heard a muffled crash come from the locker rooms, the sound of a distant door slamming, then silence again. I was alone.   


I stood for a moment just leaning against the wall, then slowly began to slip down it. I landed hard on my backside (the floor here wasn't protected by a mat), but didn't even register my tailbone's pain as I brought a shaky hand to the side of my neck. What the hell had just happened? One minute I'd been fighting my tail off, the next I'd been in a snog session with Seifer. How on earth had that happened?   


I tried to shake it off, but it was impossible - I had only to bring up my hand to my neck to know what had happened. There were no visible marks, not even any stubble burn as he had been clean-shaven, but I could feel it inside: I knew it was there. And I didn't know what to do about it.   


The squeak of a door opening brought me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see someone come into the dueling hall. For an instant, I was deathly afraid it was Seifer and we'd start again on this whole confusing scenerio...but it wasn't.   


"Are you alright Quisty?" Ellone asked softly, concern evident in her eyes as she hurried over to my side.  


  


  



	8. Confessions

8   


  


"Well," the older girl exclaimed after I'd told her the story. A pause, then a lower, "Well ..."   


I hadn't intended to tell Ellone what all had happened, but she'd caught me at a really bad time. Few things shock me; I pride myself on being totally unflappable and able to take up any challenge, but this completely blindsided me. When I started speaking it was in jerky half-mutterings, an easy signal that something was wrong; when Ellone confronted me about it I tried to deny it, but she told me if I didn't say anything she'd ask Seifer was had happened. She's apparently passed him while trying to find me, and put two and two together.   


There was no way I was going to let him give his side of the story, but it still took her threatening to get the truth by whatever means necessary before I spilled my guts. As she was as powerful as a sorceress and had time to tweak in her hands, I decided talking would be easiest.   


Now we both sat there against the wall, each unsure what to say next. As the silence stretched, my mind began pulling interesting tidbits out of supposedly thin air. The more I thought about it, I realized I couldn't remember a single time when Ellone had critisized Seifer. Zell, Selphie, and Irvine had talked a lot about him, mostly disparaging things; Squall very rarely spoke of the blond, and Rinoa steered clear of the subject. I myself hadn't exactly been vocally critical of him, but that was because it was my job to stay impartial; Hyne knew what I'd been thinking about him. But Ellone, even when she'd been around us during those times, had never participated in the talks; if anything, she'd tried to stop us or change the subject whenever it turned to Seifer-bashing. Unfortunately, she divided her time between Garden and Esthar so wasn't always there, leaving us to get comfortable joking at the expense of the blond man.   


"I think," Ellone started and I looked eagerly at her, but she lapsed again into silence. It might have been amusing at any other instance just how desperate I was for guidance right at that moment, especially that of an older woman. Of course, she was older only by five years but when you're nineteen, a difference in age like five years might as well be a lifetime. I felt anything but amused, however, as I waited avidly for whatever she might be able to tell me.   


Ellone glanced at me, then sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time since we'd gone quiet. "I think," she said slowly, "that I'm not the one you should be asking for answers. I myself have never been in any relationship this, um, complicated, and I don't know if I could help you right. See if you can run it by Matron Edea; she may have a bit more experience in matters of the heart."   


I visibly deflated, my shoulders slumping forward just a bit. I'd have to tell someone else now? While I loved Matron, no doubt about it, somehow telling her my love life was like...like...I don't know, but just wrong. She was like a mother to me, and who wants to tell their mothers about boys they'd been snogging.   


"I'm sorry I couldn't help you Quistis," Ellone said, looking a bit crestfallen herself, "but I have something I've been wanting to ask you too. Have you noticed if Zell is acting peculiar?"   


"Zell?" What could be the matter with Zell?   


"Yes, well, he'd been acting a bit..." She waved her hand around delicately, searching for the word. "Depressed lately. Do you know why that might be?"   


Zell, depressed? Funny, I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary and told Ellone so. She nodded, but implored me, "Could you keep a close eye on him? I haven't been able to talk to him as much as I used to lately, and whenever I do...I don't know, he just seems sad. Please keep an eye on him Quistis, and talk to Matron about your problem. I'm sorry I had to saddle you with more worries."   


I waved it off. "No problem, you know me: I thrive on these kinds of things." Indeed, her telling me her suspicions of Zell had taken my mind almost totally off of Seifer. It was a relief not to worry about why I'd acted like that and have something else to think about. "Actually," I added, standing up, "it's about lunch time and they should all be in the cafeteria. Care to accompany me there?"   


"Sure," she replied softly, taking my proffered hand to help her to her feet. "It's been a while since I talked to everyone together."   


We exited the dueling hall, chatting casually about business in Esthar and Balamb, both Seifer and Zell momentarily forgotten. That is, until I stepped out and saw Seifer standing at the far end of the hall, leaning against a wall. I stopped, my brow furrowing, but before I could do anything he pushed off the wall and turned down the corridor next to him, disappearing from view.   


--0--   


For the life of me, I couldn't see what Ellone was talking about.   


We were all sitting in the cafeteria, eating and chatting like normal. Squall and Rinoa were seated together as usual, with Selphie and Irvine talking animatedly next to them. Zell sat next to me, his plate piled high with his normal staple: hotdogs. Lots and lots of hotdogs. He was scarfing them down at a record rate, barely pausing between bites to give his opinion on any topic currently being discussed. If this was what being depressed looked like, it didn't seem to be that bad of a state. He, Selphie, and Irvine were laughing about something, but I was too involved with a conversation between Squall, Ellone, and myself to pay attention to whatever they were discussing.   


"The number of requests for missions has dropped dramatically since we returned," Squall was saying. "At the rate we're going, we may not be able to take in any new recruits this year; we don't have enough revenue to support them, let alone the hundreds we already have stationed here."   


"What about Trabia and Galbadia gardens?" I asked. "I know they're both still trying to get back on their feet, but have they noticed the same thing?"   


Squall nodded. "Galbadia garden just opened up its acceptance for missions, but they too had noticed a remarkable drop in requests...before all this." He waved vaguely in the air, a faint grimace on his face. "Trabia's too new; they don't have their permanent facilities erected yet and they had too many casualties in the air raid to be fully operational for a long time."   


"Selphie's been wanting to go back to help," Rinoa piped up. "It was her home garden after all, even though she loves Balamb. She's been thinking about it for a while now."   


"What's keeping her here?" Ellone asked, looking genuinely curious.   


Rinoa opened her mouth, then suddenly blushed and closed it again. "I'm, uh, not supposed to tell," she said softly, leaning away from Selphie. If the other girl heard what Rinoa said she gave no evidence of it, apparently deep in her own conversation with Irvine.   


Ellone laughed lightly. "It's a boy, isn't it?" she murmured, smiling as Rinoa blushed deepened. "Don't worry, you didn't tell. It's just quite obvious."   


Zell, I noticed, had gotten in on the conversation, listening intently and slowing down on his hotdog consumption.   


"Well, I think you should talk to her about it if you want to know any more," Rinoa whispered. "I shouldn't have even told you this..."   


"Told what?" Selphie piped up, turning around and beaming at the rest of us. "Sorry, what were you guys talking about?"   


Rinoa was blushing furiously now and Squall seemed to have no idea what to say next, so I answered, "We were thinking of talking with Matron about Galbadia Garden. Maybe she would have some tips on what to do."   


Selphie nodded, the edges of her mouth drooping just a bit. "I sure wish I knew what was going on there," she stated, her normally upbeat voice slightly diminished. "It just happened so suddenly, the whole Garden cutting all ties to the outside world and all. Why would they..." She trailed off, her gaze switching to Irvine. I watched her brow furrow and glanced at him as well. He had gone suspiciously blank, somber eyes staring at the ground and his hands gripping his knees tightly.   


A bright smile suddenly flashed over Selphie's face and she leaped up from her chair. "Hey, I know what we can do Irvy," she exclaimed, bouncing onto his lap. "You're going to be staying here for a while, so why don't you let me decorate your room?" Grabbing his hat and jamming it on her head, she seized his hand and pulled him to his feet. "I promise it won't be like last time; I didn't know you weren't a fan of purple, I could have sworn you told me it was your favorite color. Anyways, ivy really is coming back in style, what do you think? Yellow might look good with your coat, or a pale green to match the ivy..." She dragged him out of the cafeteria, still chattering away; Irvine was sporting a very bemused expression, but his lips had tipped into a smile as he allowed himself to be led away.   


Amused, we all watched them leave before turning back to our various conversations. I had a small smile on my face as I looked over at Zell, but it slowly faded as I noticed him still watching the door. A moment later he heaved a sigh and pushed his plate, which still held at least four hotdogs, away from him toward the center of the table. He caught my eye and, looking sheepish, remarked, "I think I took too many."   


I nodded vaguely and turned to Ellone, who was staring at Zell with a peculiar look on her face. He didn't seem to notice the sudden attention as he leaned back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling, rocking back and forth like he hadn't a care in the world.   


Ellone glanced at me, and I quirked an eyebrow with a nod towards Zell. She nodded slightly, indicating she had caught on, then stood up. "If you all wouldn't mind," she said, "I have a few things I need to get done. If you all will excuse me."   


I started to stand as well but she gave her head a faint shake without looking at me, and I settled back into my seat.   


"No need to ask Ellone," Rinoa said with a grin. "We're not formal around here, at least not if the guys have anything to say about it."   


"Hey," Squall protested, "we're outnumbered here, it's not a fair fight."   


"Since when do boys play fair," Rinoa replied, giving her boyfriend's arm a small punch to emphasize the joke. "Oh Ellone," she added quickly, turning her attention to the older girl, "can I talk with you later, before you head back to Esthar? There's something I've been meaning to ask."   


"I'm actually planning to stay a while longer," Ellone replied, giving Rinoa a warm smile. "I'll be in my room tonight if there's anything you need." She paused, then pursed her lips and murmured, "Oh dear."   


"What's the problem?" Zell asked, setting all four legs of his chair to the ground.   


Ellone's hands fluttered around like little bird; it was amazing how easily the girl could pull off the whole 'damsel in distress' look. "I'm going to need some help getting a few other things up into my temporary room," she replied. "Zell, would you, um, mind please...?"   


"Sure, I'm not doing anything right now." He jumped up out of the chair with a grin, saluting the rest of us. "Off to help a lady, see ya'll later!" He grabbed the remaining hotdogs on his plate, stuffed two into his pockets and started unwrapping the others as he and Ellone headed out of the cafeteria.   


"I should be going now too." I figured it was as good a time as any to grade papers; Hyne knew I was behind because of my mission. And I still wanted my bath, complete now with a healthy dose of bubbles and light music. Contrary to popular opinion, there really are times when I enjoyed the frillier parts of girl-dom.   


"Okay, see you around," Rinoa piped up as I stood to leave.   


"You know Quistis," Squall remarked distractedly, "your idea of talking with Edea has merit; I'll see what ideas she has on the subject."   


I nodded and bid my farewell to the couple, then walked out of the cafeteria to my classroom. I headed up the elevator and into the hall, passing a few of my students along the way. As I was in no mood to be interrupted I didn't pause to chat with anyone instead making a beeline to my class, intent on getting what I needed and heading straight to my quarters.   


I was pulling up to my classroom when a low grunt sounded inside the room next to mine. I paused, then heard the unmistakable slapping sound of flesh meeting flesh. Frowning, I headed over and checked the door, but it had been sealed from the inside. Cursing softly as I heard yet another blow and what sounded like a snicker, I punched in my authorization code on the panel and heard the door unlock with a faint *click*. The doors swished open and I entered just in time to see one redheaded student mutter, "Bastard," before letting loose with a roundhouse punch which caught his victim hard in the side of the head.   


The two others, each holding an arm of their captive, saw me first and quickly let go of the one they'd been beating. The white trenchcoat laying haphazardly on the floor and blond hair identified the victim, and I unfurled my whip as the redhead whirled around. His face blanked as he saw who had walked in on their little punchfest, but before he could get a word out I lashed out with the whip.   


My choice in weapon had gone through some serious upgrades since I first became a SeeD, so even on the lowest setting it packs quite a punch. The whip cracked over the boy's chest, propelling him through the air onto one of the desks at the rear of the class. One of the other students started towards the redhead but I lashed out again, this time aiming for his legs; the whip wrapped around his shins and he tripped, smashing face-first on the ground.   


"Don't even think about moving," I warned the other one, my voice cold enough to freeze Hell. He took my threat seriously, freezing in a position that, in another situation, might have been considered funny. "Now," I continued, "someone tell me what exactly is going on here."   


"Nothing that concerns you, Instructor," an unexpected voice answered. "You can just move along now."   


I blinked at Seifer, momentarily taking my focus off his assailants. He was working his jaw tenderly and had a large bruise forming beside his right eye; I knew he'd have a hell of a shiner in a few hours. He ran a hand over his face, smearing the blood coming from his nose but stared at me defiantly anyway. Behind him I saw the redhead get gingerly to his feet, his face a mask of anger and chagrin at being caught.   


"Mr. Cahill," I snapped, and watched as the redhead's head jerked up. "Ken Simeon, Akito Salme. You are to go up to the Headmaster's office right this minute and tell Xu everything that happened here. She will decide what punishment will be dealt for attacking a fellow cadet. If I find out that any one of you took a detour on the way there, or didn't put the appropriate amount of speed in your step, I will personally kick you out of this Garden so fast you won't know what hit you. Am I understood?"   


"But Instructor," Akito pleaded but I cut him off with the crack of the whip.   


"Do you understand me?" I asked, my voice lower. All three boys nodded, and I indicated the door with a jerk of my head when none of them showed signs of moving. The trio shuffled past me at a fast walk; if they knew what was good for them they'd keep this pace until they got to Xu's office. I noticed Cahill give Seifer a scathing look as he passed the blond, which Seifer ignored as he fingered the cut beside his eyebrow. I pulled my communicator out of my pocket and flipped it on, fingering Xu's code. "Xu, it's Quistis. I just sent up three students I caught assaulting another cadet. They'll hopefully tell you the whole story, and I will be up there later to coroborate what they said."   


"Understood," Xu's no nonsense voice came back over the comm.   


I sighed, pocketting the communicator. So much for rest and relaxation, I thought dismally.   


"You know, Instructor, you have the nasty habit of poking your nose into other peoples' business."   


Fighting the urge to not fling my own punch at his arrogant face, I pressed two fingers to the bridge of my nose. "Whenever it has to do with my students, Mr. Almasy, it is my business."   


He gave a grunt and stalked past me...and my control snapped. Seriously, one can tolerate being unappreciated for only so long. Before I thought twice about it I again lashed out with my whip, this time my aim being Seifer. Even with his back turned I knew that if he hadn't been expecting this from prim, proper me it wouldn't have worked; the tentacle which made up my weapon stretched past him and before he could react wrapped itself around his body, trapping his arms and jerking his feet together. Anyone else would have done a face-plant, but Seifer somehow managed to keep his feet under him, even hopped around to face me. His face held equal amounts of incredulity and anger, and I began to realize that I had a nicely packaged bomb on my hands...and no idea what to do next.   


"What the hell did you do that for?" he shouted, struggling against the bonds. He only succeeded in nearly toppling himself, keeping upright through some fancy footwork, the only part of his body still mobile.   


It's the only way I could get you to stop and talk, I wanted to shout but said instead, "Someone needs to save you from you. Hyne Seifer, would you look at yourself?"   


"I won't stand here and be lectured by you," he shot back contemptuously.   


"You'll stand there and be lectured like the child you are, Seifer," I answered, my lip curling in disgust. "Do you realize how immature you've been acting lately? The whole "I'm so bad and I deserve this" pile of bull is getting really old. I'm tired of having to save you from situations like this..."   


"I can take care of myself," he bellowed.   


"Then do it from now on! Dammit Seifer," I yelled back at him, stamping my foot for effect. "Right now I don't care one jot why you think you should take this abuse! What you need to realize is, when you allow someone to do that to you you're teaching them that it's *okay* to bully another human being. Here I am, trying my BEST to teach these kids to act like a team, and you're baiting them into a fight!"   


He was silent for a moment, both of us fuming. Then he grumbled something and looked away, blond hair falling over his eyes. When he glanced back the anger had been replaced by a look of pained frustration. "You just don't get it, do you?" he bit out, his eyes never leaving mine. "Because of what I did, I don't have the luxury of defending myself."   


"Oh, come off the pity party," I shot back scathingly, but Seifer just shook his head and snorted.   


"A pity party, is that what you think this is?" The frustration was replaced by disdain, his eyes boring into mine as he spoke. "Everything I do now is, in some way or another, monitored: where I go, what I eat, how many possibly dangerous pills I have in my medicine cabinet. Who I talk to is even screened; if I form any relationships outside Garden these people will have background checks done on them."   


"Now you're just being paranoid," I interrupted, but my voice didn't sound all that convincing.   


Again he shook his head, his eyes leaving mine as his face sobered. "When Cid allowed me back into Garden, he was forced to make rules. You know Cid," and here a ghost of a smile flitted briefly across his mouth, "he would have just let me in, no questions asked. But others demanded I be watched, that my 'past' wouldn't come back to haunt me."   


I stared at him, anger gone and puzzlement firmly in its place. "If that's the case, why didn't I know about it?"   


He flickered a surprised gaze at me, then again looked away. "I don't know, maybe they thought you were too close to the situation," he answered slowly. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to answer to this little incident though, in one way or another."   


"It wasn't your fault," I said quickly, finding it ironic that mere moments before I'd been accusing him of starting it. Frankly, this brand new side of Seifer was really beginning to freak me out. There was no cocky edge to play off, no haughty demeanor to look down at. He was being absolutely serious outside a battle situation, and it was scaring the heck out of me.   


He squirmed again, and I became aware my whip was still wrapped around him. Startled out of my thoughts I was just about to release him when the doors slid open again, and a grey-haired woman came in.   


Fujin. Oh dear...   


"SEIFER?" she called just before her eyes settled on us. Her one good eye widened, and I had a sinking suspicion what was going through her head right at that moment. Fujin's mouth worked soundlessly for an instant, then her already red eye blazed as her face contorted into a look of overwhelming fury. "RAGE!" she screamed at me and went into full attack mode.   


"Fujin, no!" Seifer shouted but the woman wasn't having it; she kept coming at me, a berserk look in her face that made me just want to run. Thing was, I didn't want to fight her; she was trying to protect Seifer from yet another attacker, further underscoring the fact that this was definitely one of my lamer ideas. Too little, too late.   


I jumped to the side as she threw herself at me, and managed to get the whip loose from around Seifer's body. I could do little else, however, as Fujin turned back and tried to attack me again, so I did the only thing I could think about - I ran. Perhaps in another place, if the situation hadn't been so pathetic, it might have been funny; there was little to laugh about, however, as I just barely missed being sliced by Fujin's own weapon.   


Me running around the desks to keep away from Fujin, Seifer shouting at both of us to stop it, Fujin screaming at the top of her lungs single-word expletives and threats which managed to convey her message surprisingly well...   


"'May I have you attention students.'"   


Fujin came at me again and I dodged, trying to listen to the announcement and keep away from the sudden berserker and her powerful weapon.   


"'I'd like to announce the following cadets have reached SeeD rank: Archimedes Himura, Rhea Summers, Irvine Kinneas...'"   


My eyebrow rose at that but I was too focussed on diving away from an exploding desk panel to think about the political implications of that decision.   


"'... Luna Silver, and Seifer Almasy.'"   


All action froze in the classroom. As if wondering just what we were doing, Fujin and I each cast curious glances across the class towards Seifer. The blond, for his part, was blinking blankly at us, as if trying to digest this new information himself.   


"'Will these students please report to my office as soon as possible. Thank you.'"   


Nobody in the room seemed inclined to do anything. Seifer was looking from Fujin to me to the floor, then back again. A slow smile spread across his face, his lips curling into an expression that was very unlike his normal sneer.   


Fujin was the first to break the silence. "FINALLY."   


I coughed a little laugh at the very appropriate statement: the one word seemed to sum up the situation perfectly. I started to congratulate him myself when I saw Fujin, less than two feet from me, shift. A small gloved fist came straight at my head - I saw it yet didn't react. I suppose, at the time, I thought deserved it. Heh, does that make me sound too much like Seifer?  



	9. Dreamscapes

9   


  


_She stares dispassionately at the scene below, not feeling an inkling of attachment to the creatures. Their cares, worries, and feelings wash over her but she does not care; she just watches as what happenes, happens. She feels *them*, feels what they feel, but nothing of her own. There is no curiosity, just an acceptance of what had always been. The others milling around are insignificant and unimportant ... all, that is, but one. One, who lays next to a black object. No, who stood in front of it. This lone figure experiences a sudden burst of helpless shock... and She feels it. She, who does not feel, CAN not feel, feels. It is utterly foreign, altogether out of Her league, and yet there is no shock, no epiphany as to the why of what was happening - she simply feels where she's never felt before, and accepts this too.   
_

The screaming, ever present before, stops suddenly as Silence took it place. The scene shifted, taking on a static appearance before blanking out like a video screen. Surrounded by blackness, which she is used to, she waits.   


Far in the distance, beyond the human eye but not beyond hers, a lone figure appeared. She stared at the shape and Shiva stared back, still frozen immoble in his cocoon of ice. His piercing gaze searched hers, for what she didn't know; she stared back impassively, allowing his perusal.   


::It shouldn't be like this.:: His lips didn't move, frozen as they were, but she heard him anyway. It was not a question, so she felt no inclination to answer.   


They stared at one another in the silentness of the void, then Shiva "spoke" again. ::When the time comes, we will be ready. Until they you must prepare yourself...::   


\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \   


Back at the scene suddenly, the same myriad of emotions floating about her. Above all else however, an unrelenting anguish pierces through her. She, who has never before been allowed or perhaps allowed herself to feel, is overcome by this emotion. It is not a pleasant introduction to Sensation - it is downright un-pleasant, to say the very least. Attempting to gain back her detached status she tries to brush the alien feelings aside but cannot, unable to shake the bizarre sensations in her breast .. It is unpleasant to her and she hates it. Hate is new to her, and she fears it. As is fear...   


Time shifts. The scene warps, subtly changed. The sadness that caused her the unpleasantness is now gone, replaced by rage. Anger. A spirit of revenge. These she knows even if she has never felt them herself until now, but there is also a requesting, which she understands readily enough. Wishing to end these feelings (it is curious, to wish for something) she rushes down to answer the request...   


----------------------   


My eyes shot open and I awoke with a start, trembling and sweating.   


Well, I *would* have been sweating if I hadn't been already immersed in a tub of tepid water. I knew immediately where I was, but for one long agonizing moment I had no clue how I'd gotten there. The slate grey walls of my bathroom seemed suddenly closer than they should have been, the very scarcity of it all making me see things where there was nothing. I'd never been much for decorating, always figuring it to be too much hassle and just simply unnecessary since all one had to do was live in their quarters; my rooms were pretty much standard issue, the only things hanging on the wall being a couple mirrors, a small clock, and a hook for my weapon. Unlike Selphie's room, in which each room was jam-packed full of decorations, useless knickknacks, and souvenirs from our various missions I preferred the uncluttered look so that my walls, tables, and even my floors were free of everything. My sole concession to 'decoration' was a single doily atop my dresser that had been a gift from Matron, who'd taken one look at my room and given it to me the next day. However, in this one instance I fervently wished there was something I could focus on other than the spigot at the other end of the bath.   


"Hyne," I muttered, wiping my face with a shaky wet hand as I sat up in the tub, bits and pieces of reality and memory slowly filtering in. I'd awoken in my room after the fight (I still cringed as I thought of it), having no clue how I'd managed to get from one side of the SeeD complex to the other. After taking one small whiff of my clothing, though, I had figured it was high time I took the chance to take a bath real. Upon entering the hot water, within minutes I had not so surprisingly fallen asleep.   


As more of the real world crept back into my conscious mind, I found I was starting to forget my dream. I had to admit though, from what little I could vividly remember I wasn't sure if it was such a bad thing to forget. Holy Hyne, but it had been strange; even remembering so little of it didn't minimize the freaky quality. I could sort of remember a chaotic scene, something black, having a one-sided conversation, and generally feeling ... nothing.   


That, I think, had been the weirdest part of the whole experience. I'd never in my life felt that apathetic; uncaring; dead. Perhaps, at times, I've come off as seeming that way to others, but that was just how I often preferred to be viewed as. It makes teaching, and life in general, much less complicated; in some ways, I understood why Squall was the way he was. The human animal, however, is not supposed to feel nothing; we always have something going through our heads and hearts no matter what face we show to the public. Therefore, that whole experience was, as Zell would probably put it, very whiggy.   


I lifted my foot to the spigot and turned on the hot water as I struggled to remember other parts of the dream. Someone had spoken to me but I couldn't remember about what; I did remember something about ice though. I also remembered a black something-or-another which had been somehow important...   


The dream continued to slip further away, erasing from my mind even the bits I could initially remember. Cursing softly, I continued to grasp wildly about for fragments of a dream that continued to splinter, all the while trying to remind myself I didn't believe in dreams. A total lie of course; we had all been subjected to some intense dreams on the mission with Adel. Those had been extenuating circumstances, of course, and somehow I had a strong doubt that Ellone had anything to do with this 'dream'.   


I noticed belatedly that my hands were wrinkled beyond belief and realized I had no real idea just how long I'd been in the bath. Somewhat reluctantly, I shut off the water and reached around behind me, grabbing the towel I knew was there and stepping out of the tub.   


--   


Ten minutes later I had essentially forgotten ninety-nine percent of the dream, but had new problems to worry about.   


"C'mon Quistis," Selphie pleaded, giving me her trademark puppydog eyes, "you know you want to come with us."   


"Oh you know that," I repeated, but the hint of sarcasm was lost on Selphie.   


"And besides," she continued, an I've-outsmarted-you smile stretching across her face, "I know for a fact that you're off-duty with no classes for the rest of the week too so you're free to play."   


Searching desperately for any excuse, I argued, "I can't Selphie, I still have lessons to write up and assignments to grade that I promised..."   


"Oh pish, you've got all week to grade them, and just use the same lesson plans from last year," Selphie replied enthusiastically, showing a surprising knowledge of teaching habits. Then her expression again turned pleading. "Look, I've already got Squall and Irvine going, and I'd have the others too if I could find them. C'mon Quisty, please."   


She'd gotten Squall to come? Curious as to how that had been pulled off I peaked around my doorway and, sure enough, saw our stoic commander leaning against the wall opposite Irvine. It being strange lately for him to be alone I asked, "Where's Rinoa?"   


"Off shopping in Balamb," Irvine replied, flashing Squall a wink. "Said she had some ideas for updating her boyfriend's wardrobe."   


Had Rinoa finally decided Squall's leather ensemble needed updating, I wondered, giving the Commander a probing look. It had been his trademark for a long time and, quite frankly, he seemed to like it; I could well imagine his wardrobe filled with duplicates of the same outfit or slight variations thereof. Of course, I'd always been of the opinion he looked quite good in that ensemble. Delectable, actually, although I would never, ever admit to thinking that. I had to weather enough whip jokes, but you throw a leather fascination into the mix...Oy.   


"So," Selphie continued, gracing me once again with a pleading look, "you're coming, right Quistis? Please please please pleasepleasepleasepleaseplea.."   


"All right, all right I'll go," I said, heaving a huge sigh. I swear, I'm doomed from the start if Selphie wants something: the girl just doesn't know when to quit. The fact that she'd gotten Squall to come should have given me a clue as to how tenacious she was. "But," I added, "I can't stay out very long since I still have a lot.."   


"Boo-ya!" Selphie exclaimed suddenly, rounding on Irvine. "I told you I could get her to come! Toldja toldja toldja!"   


I just stared at Selphie as she did a little victory dance in front of Irvine. "You know," I commented dryly, my mouth pursing a bit, "I just remembered something very important that demands my immediate attent--"   


"Nup, no backsies," Selphie chirped, grabbing my arm and hauling me across the threshold of my quarters. "We're going to have fun, and so are the two of you. You guys work too much," she added, rolling her eyes, "so no saying 'no' okee?"   


Realizing the futility of arguing with Selphie and wishing I hadn't had the presence of mind to grab my whip before I was unceremoniously yanked out of my room, I reluctantly fell in step beside Squall. Selphie hung on Irvine's arm in front of us, chattering away a storm which Irvine seemed willing and able to follow. I stayed silent for a few moments as we walks out onto the main quad, then asked Selphie while she was taking a breath between bursts of conversation, "How did you know I had my schedule so free?"   


"Oh, Squall told us," she answered, flashing me a big grin. "He thought it might be nice to ask you to come too."   


"Ah." That's all I said. I was silent again as the duo ahead of us flirted and chatted away, then leaned over to Squall. "Misery loves company," I murmured, darting him a look.   


He characteristically, and wisely, said nothing.   


-------------   


I suppose we did have a bit of fun in the Training Center, although it wasn't quite the challenge it used to be. When we were younger we often did this, go in groups to hang out and kill monsters. Perhaps it seems sort of a macabre way for teenagers to have fun, compared to what city children about the same age would be doing. Back then, a T-rexaur would last us hours, and even grats (or vomit monsters, as some cadets called them) took longer than a few swipes of a blade. Times had certainly changed since then, or more importantly our power levels had. It was strange to think that just a couple years back we were doing this regularly for fun, but somehow Selphie and Irvine made even the five-second battles seem at least a bit entertaining.   


We were just finishing off our second T-rexaur when we heard a high-pitched scream from across the training yard, choked off very suddenly. Abandoning the nearly dead T-rex, the four of us sprinted towards the scream. Squall took the dubious shortcut through the dense center of the arena while the other three of us went around the side, zooming past numerous creatures that tried picking fights with us but were summarily ignored.   


We got to the site just as Squall engaged the creature. It let out a loud, unpleasantly familiar roar and lashed out, narrowly missing Squall as he leaped back. A bright green tail hurtled towards him as he recovered from the dive, and I unfurled Save The Queen and lashed out as Irvine let loose his own blast. Both explosions hit the tail, driving it away from Squall and turning the dragon's attention on us.   


An emerald dragon. I had never seen one in person but had learned about them in my bestiary studies, and knew they were nigh unto impossible to kill. A combination of ice and lightening elements, they were impervious to any elemental attacks due to their combination of elements, and using any ice or electrical attacks would only serve to revitalize them. I was surprised we hadn't come against any off the coast of Dollet, as that is where the creatures are said to reside.   


I had absolutely no idea how it had gotten into Balamb's training grounds. There was no chance that any of my students could survive more than two rounds against this monster, with their still-developing skills and simple training weapons. I couldn't bear to think how many, if any, might have already come across this beast and wound up missing.   


I didn't get a whole lot of time to wonder about it before the fight was joined. Selphie rushed to the side of the two cadets, one barely standing and looking horribly abused, the other on the ground and looking infinitely worse even from this distance. Irvine took a protective stance in front of her and the cadets while Squall and I took the dragon on directly.   


The massive head swung down and Squall narrowly missed another attack, barely managing to jump out of the way in time. I grabbed the opening, lashing out with my whip at the creature's head. It bellowed as the blow connected with its mouth, reeling back a bit.   


"It's an emerald dragon," I yelled. "Don't hit it with any elemental magicks, especially lightening or ice." I leaped backwards as a claw came dangerously close to my chest and continued, "Keep it to physical attacks and watch out for..." I cut off as the giant wings spread wide, and barely managed a broken "Oh Hyne" before the creature unleashed its magical attack.   


None of us had done a healing spell since we had entered the arena, partly because we hadn't needed to and partly because of an unspoken group challenge. Sort of like a 'first person who has to heal themselves loses' kind of thing. I myself had gotten caught up in it too since I hadn't figured there was any real need not to, and therefore none of us were really up to sniff. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say.   


Rearing up, the emerald dragon's mouth opened wide and a freezing cloud of moisture billowed forth, instantly enveloping all of us. I felt the hair on my arms stand up for a split second as charged particles amassed within the cloud, then the fog of frozen water became a three-dimensional electric fence as lightening speared through all of us like knives. There was no time to utter protective spells of any kind, no way to unjunction anything that might make us vulnerable; caught with our proverbial pants down, we all went through a short eternity of hell.   


When it was over several seconds later, we could all barely stand. The dragon of course, now fully revitalized after including himself in his own elemental attack, lashed out with its tail and sent both Squall and I, at the front of the melee, hurtling through the air.   


I slammed back first through a wood wall, its flimsiness barely slowing my momentum. The stone on the other side of the room did the trick, however, and I know I momentarily blacked out. Stars danced across my vision, but the moment I was lucid enough to make out the room I struggled to my feet, trying mightily to ignore the pain in my head and back as I staggered outside.   


I had apparently been blown a good seventy feet from my original position. Both Selphie and Irvine had moved around the corner a ways to give their long-range weapons more maneuverability, with the dragon following close behind. Irvine had one student slung over his shoulder while Selphie, showing more strength than I'd thought she possessed, was dragging the other with her non-weaponed hand. The injured probably shouldn't have been moved, but then they had a very good reason to take that risk stalking after them.   


I closed my eyes and, swallowing the nausea threatening to overwhelm me, case Aura on the two to allow them access to their limit breaks. I also attempted the highest level healing spell I could generate in my current state, which frankly didn't allow for very complicated magicks. I had to have been close to my own limit break, seeing as I hadn't used it all during the time in the arena here.   


I picked my way out onto the ground, stumbling on unsteady legs. Belatedly I knew I had a concussion among other things, but my limbs all seemed to be in working order and I figured that was all I needed to fight with. I saw what looked to be the beginning of Selphie's limit break before I unceremoniously tripped, falling flat on my face.   


Wincing at the pains that fall had brought into sharp focus, I staggered upright just in time to see the dragon again rear up and deliver its elemental attack. Limping forward as fast as my body would allow, I swung my whip in a wide arc around the beast. It stretched out past the beast, curving inwards, then came whistling back and struck the dragon square in the chest. The monster reeled back from the unexpected blow, bellowing in outrage. Irvine and Selphie, both on their last legs after that attack, were forgotten as it whirled around to face me.   


I had at that moment a glimpse of what death looked like: green scaly face, slitted orange eyes, ice vapor issuing from a long snout, and rows of very pointed teeth, some of which were longer than my forearm. A deep rumbling growl made it way to my ears, and at that moment I knew I was totally on my own. Selphie and Irvine were helpless, Squall was nowhere to be seen, and I had an angry green head as big as I was looking ready to tear me into painfully small pieces.   


Any normal person would have run. Actually, any sane person would have, but this is me we're talking about. Me, plus one doozy of a concussion and a sudden irritability at the world. The blow to my head must have jarred something loose because I was suddenly very angry. Not scared, not panicked, just furious that I had to constantly put up with surprises like this. First the whole Galbadian mission, then having a one-time friend Martine attack me and my entourage, the whole bloody ordeal with Seifer... A million little day-to-day complaints welled up and suddenly wanted out, and here I was nine-tenths beat up with an unbeatable dragon staring me in the face.   


At that particular instant, sanity wasn't exactly my strong suit.   


The dragon opened its mouth to unleash another attack and, with speed I thought I had lost along with my sanity, I lashed out with my whip, willing the weapon as far down the beast's throat as was anatomically possible. I felt ice-cold wind buffet my face just as I felt my whip jerk slightly and heard a muffled explosion from somewhere before me. The dragon blanched suddenly, its jaws snapping shut mid-attack. Eyes glazing over slightly, it gave a curious belch and snapped its head up, pulling my whip and subsequently me forward as well. All coordination was lost and, for the second time in as many minutes, I fell flat on my face.   


I managed to pull my whip back and roll over so I was facing upwards, but that was the extent of my body's maneuverability. I had completely run out of steam, and could barely find the energy to think properly. Belatedly I watched the dragon stagger around in agony, and when its ungainly footwork took a sudden turn in my direction I could do nothing but stare.   


There was the distinctive retort of a gunblade from somewhere nearby, and the dragon reeled back away from me. Two more gunblade blasts echoed through the air, each hitting the dragon square in the face, then a dark shape from above and landed in front of me.   


"Squall," I breathed, my eyes struggling to focus on the figure who had single-handedly taken on the beast. The blade flashed through the air and more retorts rang out, each pre-empting a roar from the dragon. The beast was, amazingly, driven backwards by the lone figure, moving it away from the rest of us and farther into the training grounds.   


As I watched more of the fight it occurred to me that Squall had learned several new techniques since I'd last fought with him. Some of the moves I had never seen our Commander do before, and believe me when I say I had fought quite a few battles with him. I watched the figure vault into the air over the dragon, sailing overhead and letting off a number of blasts aimed directly at the monster's wings and back, each shot launching him farther and farther upwards and out of range for the lashing tail.   


Feeling more than a little bit loopy, I stared bemusedly at the fighter. He seemed taller than I remembered our Commander being, and not with the lankiness I usually associated with Squall. Although he was the only gunblade specialist I knew who wore black, was the Commander that stocky?   


The room lost focus suddenly as a sudden burning sensation developed at the center of my chest. I welcome it, immediately recognizing my own personal sign that I had reached my limit break. We each had our own physical indications as to when we had access to the energies making up our most powerful attacks. Selphie once said that her hair stood on end right before she could do hers, while Zell had confessed to having a sudden craving for vanilla prior to his. I didn't stop to think about how I could possibly be able to perform any powerful moves when I'd completely run out of energy but embraced it, eager to get back into the fray.   


For an instant I felt the soft pulse of magic that accompanied my limit breaks, filling me with energy and vitality. It was enough to allow me to stand, then ...   


_HOLY HYNE!_   


It was like a dam exploding over a tiny brook. Waves of power crashed into me, causing me to stagger back away from the fight. If I could have screamed I would have, but the power, white-hot and wild, would not have it. It coursed through me, coming from some limitless source that continued to role over and through my body, practically lifting me off my feet. There was a dull ache in my breast, as if my heart was suddenly too big for my chest, and my head felt like it was going to split. Barely maintaining control over my limbs, I brought my fist up to press against my chest - not that it did a whole lot of good. The knuckles on my hand were white with strain, my fingernails digging deep enough into my palms to draw blood. My body, it seemed, showed no outward signs of my inner turmoil; I would have expected my skin to be glowing at the very least. My mind soundlessly screamed but my mouth was frozen, unable to utter a single sound.   


All I knew was one thing: this was NOT one of my normal limit breaks.   


In an instant, time stretched: there's no other way to describe it. My consciousness seemed to expand, and quite suddenly I was aware of several things happening from all corners of the arena. I knew a T-rexaur, having finished off the one we'd left and alerted by the smell and blood, was on its way in our direction. I could feel Selphie, Irvine, the cadets, and Seifer's (Seifer?) life force, knew the former three were running out of time and the latter was rapidly beginning to tire. I couldn't feel Squall, which would have worried me if I hadn't had more urgent things to worry about.   


Seifer leaped over the green tail that came flying in his direction, lashing downwards with the blade. The gunblade hit the tail directly and seem to do little except shear several metallic scales off. The dragon, however, bellowed and, shifting its weight suddenly, reversed the direction its tail flew. Seifer, just landing on his feet and unable to dodge quite that quickly, received a blow straight on the chest that propelled him almost forty feet through a clump of trees. I heard a loud splash that indicated he'd landed in the lake even as the dragon turned back on Selphie, Irvine, and the cadets.   


I watched all this happen, waves of power still flowing through me as powerful as a raging river and as ephemeral as air. Any time I tried to wield it, to simply grasp ahold of it, it turned intangible yet no less powerful. I saw Seifer's blow, watched him sail through the air like I knew I must have, knew precisely where he landed, watched the dragon swoop down on my defenseless friends and students...   


"NO!" Unstable as I was, not knowing what in Hyne's name was happening to me, I nonetheless managed to take a step towards them in an effort to help.   


And the power shifted. I could feel some change, but tried to ignore it and lashed out with my whip. My arm wasn't working right; the whip, far from doing any 'lashing', dangled from loose fingers at the end of an arm held out parallel to the ground. Whatever it was inside of me, however, had shifted, its wild rushing turned in one direction. My hand pointed at the dragon, and my chin jerked upwards as the power flowed out of me, out of my arm, and in the direction that arm pointed. The dragon, swooping down to consume my friends, stopped suddenly; almost comically froze in position, jaws wide just over Selphie and the cadet she held, balanced precariously on its opposite front and rear feet. It blinked once, the only indication that it wasn't a statue, then began to tremble.   


Jaw clenching in anger at what had been about to happen, my hand clenched into a fist and the dragon's trembling became even greater. The power demanded release; how I didn't know, but I was too angry to care. This creature had been about to take away a friend and a student, and that was, in my mind, not forgivable. "No," I repeated softly, as if to a bad puppy. Not knowing quite what I was doing, running purely on instinct, I let my hand spring open... And the dragon vanished. Not exploded, not vaporized, just disappeared. Small lights glittered where it had been a moment before, then those too slowly winked out.   


Silence fell on the grounds for several seconds, then a sob from one of the cadets punctured the air. The noise seemed to galvanize everyone, although considering the shape they were all in they didn't 'galvanize' very fast.   


The power still rushed through me, but it seemed content now that it had been released. I could do little but stand there, jaw trembling in what I could only guess was shock, hand still outstretched with widespread palm pointing upwards. It took an effort to get it closed and back to my side, but what had seemed impossible before was easier now that I didn't feel like I was being pulled in every direction. Energy still rushed through me, but it was gentler, calmer than it had been before the dragon had...disappeared.   


Selphie and Irvine were casting healing spells on one another and the two cadets. I heard Dr. Kadowaki's voice through Selphie's communicator, then the girl turned her attentions to me. For once, she seemed speechless, then gave me a tremulous smile. "Was that a new limit break?" she asked, hesitantly coming towards me.   


I took in a shaky breath and opened my mouth to say something, I wasn't sure what, when just like that the power shut down. The energy that had been swirling in me disappeared as suddenly as it had manifested, leaving me with an empty feeling that almost felt worse than the energy had. The area lost focus and pitched, whirling around until it was sideways. I felt the impact of the ground yet none of its sting, and saw several dark shapes moving towards me before blackness consumed me.   


  



	10. Hospital Blues

10   


  


The first thing I remember on waking up was the sound of the monitors giving off a soft, steady beeping sound. Very soon after that I could make out voices, although it took me another moment before I could understand them.   


"... told you already, she's going to be fine," Dr. Kadowaki's voice stated firmly. "Provided, of course, she gets some rest." There was a hum of voices; I recognized a couple in the din including Irvine and Zell's but couldn't make out any actual bits of conversation.   


"Well, yes," and here the doctor's voice hesitated, "we're doing the best we can, although the injuries may take a wh--- MIS-ter Almasy, just what do you think you're...!"   


I blinked my eyes open just as a tall sliver of light appeared about ten feet in front of me. Immediately realizing it was the door opening, I nonetheless shut my eyes and brought my hand feebly up to my face. There was a faint resistance, and seeing a small tube shift across my stomach realized I was connected to an IV.   


"She seems fine to me," I heard Seifer's voice comment dryly, and looked up to see his silhouette in the doorway. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded, apparently looking at me although it was too dark to see his expression. There was something different about his wardrobe though...   


"Quisty!" More silhouettes appeared then Seifer was shoved out of his nonchalant post as the rest of the group flowed into the room. Someone turned on the lights, momentarily blinding me.   


"Zell," Dr. Kadowaki snapped, "shut those off right now."   


"No, it's okay," I managed to get out, my voice somewhat croaky. The lights were still turned off, but I could see several faces around my bed giving me anxious looks. For some reason this annoyed me and I sat up, saying, "Seriously, guys, I'm fine..."   


A wave of dizziness hit me and my vision blurred. "Well," I conceded, falling back on the bed, "maybe not totally fine."   


"You ran completely out of energy, plus took one nasty blow to the head," the doctor stated, gently shooing away a couple of people to get to my side. Checking my pulse manually she added, "Then you had to pull that limit break stunt when you barely had anything left in you to work with..."   


"That was so cool Quisty," Selphie interrupted, practically hopping in place. "You just pointed at the dragon and FWISH, it disappeared!"   


"Yeah, that was pretty awesome," Irvine agreed. "You didn't tell us you'd learned another limit break though."   


Memories of the fight returned to me, and I suddenly felt uncomfortable discussing the situation. I didn't understand it enough, myself, to be able to talk about the experience so changed the subject. "Glad to see you two are okay," I said.   


Selphie just shrugged. "We just needed some rest and a few healing spells, and we were as good as new."   


"How about the two cadets?" I asked quickly, a bit fearful my 'limit break' would be brought up again.   


"The doctor said Marie's going to be all right," Zell replied. "Ivan needed a minor surgery and will probably have to go through physical therapy to use his left arm again, but he's good too."   


I nodded and was about to ask them what happened after I passed out when I heard three voices cry out in unison, "Instructor Trepe!" Selphie, Irvine, and Zell quickly made room as three Trepies ran full-tilt to my bedside, their faces full of fear and concern.   


"Hi guys," I said, giving them a small reassuring smile.   


"They got here about the same time we did, and haven't left since," Zell supplied, sharing an amused glance with Selphie that I wasn't sure I appreciated. It's not my fault I have a fan club.   


"We were so worried, ma'am," Sandra stated, wringing her hands. "When we heard you'd collapsed like that after saving those cadets, and had to be rushed to Medical..."   


I opened my mouth to tell them it hadn't been me alone who'd defeated the dragon but right then Myla let out an anguished, "Oh, Instructor!" and threw her arms around my neck. I let out a little whoosh of air and turned wide eyes to my three friends, silently pleading for help. They, however, seemed quite amused at my discomposure. Some friends they were, I thought darkly.   


"The doctor told us you'd be fine," Marcus said softly, "but we wanted to wait around to make sure. Just in case she was only trying to make us feel better."   


"Well," I stated, giving a small shrug, "as you can see I'm fine. Nothing a little rest won't cure."   


They breathed a collective sigh of relief, and the worry left their faces. Really, I mused, as much as I might silently complain, they were a nice bunch to have around. Each had their own personalities: Sandra tried to copy me and was generally more stoic, quite the opposite of Myla who generally was a great deal more showy. Then there was Marcus, being the only male in the group and something of a mixture of both in personality. Far from being a major annoyance, the Trepies provided a constant amusement to my life.   


Ah, hospital bed contemplations. The bane of every sane mind.   


Marcus managed a small smile. "I'm glad about that. It's just, what with Squall, we were worried..."   


"Squall?" I shot a questioning look at Selphie and was surprised when she wouldn't meet my eyes. A pained look stretched across her face and my throat constricted as I demanded, "_What_ about Squall?"   


--0--   


There were several machines going next to the bed: a heart monitor and a ventilator were the most recognizable, but there were several others whose functions I wasn't aware of. Connected to all of them, looking extremely pale in contrast to his dark hair and suddenly achingly thin, lay Squall.   


Nobody said anything, just sat there in the room in silent vigil. Rinoa sat closest to the beside, holding Squall's right hand in both of hers. She was staring into space, her eyes having an unfocussed quality as if she wasn't there but traveling around somewhere in her mind.   


Selphie broke the silence first, tentatively asking, "Anything?"   


Rinoa's eyes slowly refocused, and a tear made a wet track down her cheek. "I can feel him in there," she whispered, "but I can't do anything to help him. It just won't come, no matter what I try."   


I heard Zell mutter a curse and kick the doorway, albeit softly, but nobody reprimanded him on it. Irvine let out a low sigh, then quietly excused himself and left the room; Selphie, giving Squall an anguished look, followed him outside.   


For my part I just stared at the wall opposite Squall's bed, doing nothing. Perhaps I could have tried to comfort Rinoa, if by doing nothing more than laying a hand on her shoulder but" it just seemed wrong to me somehow, trying to comfort someone when you yourself were in such need of the same.   


"_The rails pierced both his chest cavity and his abdomen_," the doctor had told me when I'd staggered out of my room, refusing to return until I'd known the truth. "_His heart, thank Hyne, was missed but one rail managed to nick his inferior vena cava, one of the main veins to the heart, and puncture his lung completely. The other rail practically obliterated one kidney, and both the liver and the gall bladder were..._" She'd trailed off as I'd staggered, nearly going to my knees as I'd struggled to take in the words.   


An expert team of doctors had been immediately dispatched from Dollet, arriving within an hours time by special SeeD transport and Nida moving the Garden itself much closer to the city. They'd set to work immediately on B-Garden's commander, who had been in stasis just barely for the short time. They'd almost arrived too late; Squall had gone into cardiac arrest at least twice before dubiously stabilizing enough to begin reconstruction on his damaged organs.   


Cid had taken the initiative to also inform President Loire of what had happen, and the other man's response had been immediate: another six doctors, arguably the best on the continent, had arrived within four hours of the President being notified. Laguna had also promised to be there as soon as he could, and had sent both Kiros and Ward ahead of him.   


All of this in the twenty hours I'd been out. He'd been carted out of the operating room less than a half hour before I'd awaken, and from what little I'd heard he would still need at least one more surgery for further reconstructive purposes as well as to remove several small equipment that had been inserted into his body to aid in its semi-normal function.   


Rinoa had been virtually comatose during her boyfriend's various surgeries, and hadn't left his side since he'd left the operating room. Upon returning from Balamb and hearing the news, she hadn't gone into the hysterics I would have expected but had sat in the waiting room, pale-faced and hollow-eyed.   


From the moment he'd been returned to her side she had been attempting to heal him using her inherent sorceress powers. Nothing she had done worked, though, and I'm pretty sure I know why. Magic in the form we all were able to draw on and use was dependent on the ability and knowledge of the wielder. Anyone who knew how to draw magic could do so, but no matter how much is drawn, it did not give them the sudden ability to use that magic. The deployment of the spells themselves, such as in battle, had to be learned as well as the many specific properties that went along with individual spells. For example, a Fire spell needed the user to do little more than imagine a ball of fire enveloping their foe as they tapped into the drawn energies, whereas a Shield spell required visualization of a barrier around the one receiving the spell, just how that shield was supposed to around that person, what it prevented, etc. In essence, some knowledge of how the spell worked was needed to allow the magic to flow correctly and do its job.   


The same thing was the case with Rinoa. She had heard the list of ailments Squall had received, but unlike how a doctor would perceive them she didn't grasp the full anatomical significance of each part. She knew his lung was punctured, but never having seen one repaired she would have no idea how to fix it. Same went with the kidney, liver, and various other organs that were damaged: not knowing how they worked, operated, and normally functioned she'd have no idea where to start, no knowledge for the magic to utilize. Perhaps if one of the doctors had Rinoa's ability, or if she'd had some of their knowledge...   


I wasn't thinking about any of this as I sat in that room, however. All that was running through my head was that we'd almost lost him. The only man I had ever loved, whom I couldn't say for certain I didn't still love even from afar, and he'd very nearly died mere yards away from me on that arena floor. The realization that I had been so close while all this had happened was enough to keep me nearly as catatonic as Rinoa.   


"Quistis?"   


Blankly I looked up at the sound of my name and saw Dr. Kadowaki standing there. She beckoned me and I reluctantly rose, giving Squall one last look before stepping outside.   


"Cid's asked me to bring you all together up in his office," the doctor murmured in a soft voice. "Said it's pretty urgent, or he wouldn't be calling you at a time like this."   


I nodded dully. "Tell him..." I paused, then continued, "Tell him I'll be there as soon as I can."   


Nodding slowly the doctor turned to go, then paused and turned back to me. Placing her hand on my shoulder she said softly, "He's going to be all right, I promise."   


"_Can_ you promise that?" I whispered, still looking through the door into that room.   


The doctor had no reply to that; she just gave my shoulder a small squeeze, then went to relay my message to Cid.   


I don't know how long I just stood there, alone, before I heard someone come up behind me. "Are you all right, Quisty?"   


I had never, as far as I could remember, heard Seifer speak in that tone of voice. It was low and soft, lacking absolutely all its normal mocking qualities. Indeed, it almost sounded like someone else entirely. "How do you think I'm doing?" I murmured, eyes shifting out of Squall's room and across the main waiting area I was in now.   


There was a long silence, for which I was grateful. He was just there, standing next to me quietly as I tried to compose myself. Finally, he asked in the same soft voice, "Is there anything I can..."   


"Please Seifer," I said, holding up my hand to stop him, "I can't do this right now." Looking back, I know I would have said the same thing to anyone who had approached me right then. It was simply that I wasn't in the mood to talk or be comforted at that moment; allowing the doctor's had drained my patience for the exercise. I certainly hadn't meant it as a stab at Seifer, but unfortunately he took it as such.   


"Fine, Instructor," he stated coldly, stepping away from me, "I'll just leave you here with your prescious bo..." He stopped what he'd been about to say, then continued, "I'll just leave you alone." And with that he stalked off out of the clinic.   


On top of everything else, I really hadn't needed that. A fight with Seifer always drained me, and right then I had no energy left to give. Strange though, having him there... it had been nice to be around someone who didn't make empty promises, who hadn't tried to hug me or make me talk about my feelings. I'd been somewhat at peace with my worry for those few moments before he'd started to talk and I had, at least to his mind, told him off. Any comfort I might have derived from him, however, had been summarily snatched away by his parting words, leaving me totally empty.   


Mindful of Cid's request. I slowly turned around and headed out of the hospital wing, back to my quarters to freshen up before heading to the Headmaster's office.   


  



	11. Promotions

A/N: Hello all!! If you're reading this, then you guys are frickin' awesome!! :D It's been too long between updates, but I'm going strong now; let's see how long this lasts! *lol*  


Okay, so I suppose that wasn't all that funny; guess I left ya'll hangin' a bit too long. GOMEN!!!!  


Anyway, chapter 9-11 (as I'm sure you've already realized if you're up to here) are all new material. I rearranged the way the chapters are set up, combining a few and therefore shortening the "length" of this story (if you're looking at chapter sizes). Anyway, hope you don't mind!  


One other thing. I'm not here at FF.net quite as much as I used to be; this is more an archive for me instead of solely where I post everything. If you're interested in getting everything up to date, plus being able to get ahold of me, I'd suggest registering for the Final Fantasy Online forums (http://forums.ffonline.com). I'm a regular there, I answer posts there, plus that's where I put up all new stuff. PLUS, there are some absurdly incredible fics that are posted _only_ there, so you wouldn't be regretting a decision to sign up. :D  


Any questions, or if you can't seem to register for the boards (I myself had a tough time getting in, not quite sure why) just email me (my addy's on the main page) and I'll PM one of the admins to see what's up. Anyway, here's the newest chap! :-D   


  


* * *

  


  
11   


  


Despite Cid asking to see us immediately, it was an hour before I arrived in the Headmaster's office.   


It wasn't totally my fault I was late, although I will admit to being a bit slow in getting changed. After taking the beating I'd been through I'm certain anyone would have been moving rather slowly too. But no, my injuries weren't the only cause for my pace: quite frankly, I was uncertain if I was ready to return to work. Not quite physically unready so much as emotionally unprepared. I had too many other things on my mind right now to be up to a meeting with the Headmaster. All I knew was that whatever Cid had to tell us had better be important.   


Once I'd washed up and put on a new uniform I swung by Medical to check on Squall's condition, only to be told he was once again in surgery. Irvine, Selphie, and Zell were nowhere to be found but Rinoa still sat in the waiting room, staring at her hands. This time, however, she was accompanied by both Kiros and Ward seated on either side of her. Ward had his big arm around her in a comforting gesture, but Rinoa didn't seem to even notice.   


The two men noticed me and Kiros stood up, meeting me at the door. "How is he?" I asked softly.   


"Doing better, last I heard," Kiros replied in an equally low voice. "They've managed to fix everything as best they could, although they're not sure about the one kidney. The doctor said it'll be at least another few hours before done with this go-around."   


I nodded. "How's she doing?" I asked, pitching my voice even lower.   


"Same," he replied, sighing. "Your buddies left about twenty minutes ago, right after they wheeled him into surgery again."   


"You two just arrived?"   


"Yeah. Laguna's on his way; he'd be here now if it wasn't for the fact his aides won't let him leave until certain presidential details are signed, approved, whatever." Kiros didn't sound too pleased at the notion, and I had a good idea that Laguna's feelings echoed his friend's. Squall and Laguna hadn't worked out their differences yet, had in fact not spoken much at all since everything happened despite what I think were several abortive tries on Laguna's part. The President had always been vocally supportive of the Gardens, though; perhaps that was his way of beginning relations with his son again.   


Not sure what else to say, I nodded again and thanked him for the information, silently cursing Cid for calling a meeting at a time like this. I gave Ward a nod, which he acknowledged, and with one last look at Rinoa I left the infirmary. I don't think Rinoa even knew I was there.   


That, of course, was when I ran into Fujin and Raijin.   


I'd been dreading our meeting, not quite having figured out what to say. 'I'm sorry you caught me looking like I was abusing Seifer' just didn't sound right, and quite frankly I didn't know what was going through the albino's head. Did she still want to punish me for what she thought I'd done, or had she been told of the entire situation? Of course, if she knew my reasons was she still eager to take my head anyway for doing what I did?   


We just stared at one another for several moments, each of us trying to read the other. It occurred to me that I might pose the same challenge to her that she was to me, that she had no idea of what my reaction would be. Both of us had been in the wrong in our separate ways, even though each response could be said to be equally justifiable.   


The silence stretched, the three of us garnering curious stares from passing students. Finally, Fujin's one-eyed gaze darted to the side, her lip curling slightly. "APOLOGIZE."   


I sighed; so that was the way it was going to be. "Look Fujin, I'm sorry about what I did to Seifer, I really am, but it wasn't what--"   


"NO," Fujin interrupted, her annoyed expression deepening. She glared balefully at me with her single red eye for a moment, then slapped her chest with a closed fist. "SORRY."   


I stared at her blankly for a moment before I understood what she meant: it was her doing the apologizing, not a demand for my own apology. No wonder she was so annoyed; Fujin hated apologizing and I'd made her do it twice.   


"Seifer told us what happened," Raijin said, sharing a look with Fujin before turning back to me. "But, um..."   


"WHY?" Fujin demanded, still glaring at me.   


Opting for the truth, I shrugged. "It was the only way I could make him stay still and listen to reason."   


Fujin snorted. "STUPID."   


"I suppose so." No arguments there; it hadn't been my proudest moment.   


Another silence stretched, then Fujin stated a bit reluctantly, "STUBBORN."   


Taking her phrase to be about Seifer, I gave a tiny smile. "That's the understatement of the year."   


Nodding in agreement with me, she said a bit more softly, "CHANGED."   


Unsure what she meant by that phrase, I glanced at Raijin. He nodded with Fujin and remarked, "It's true, he was different somehow..." His mouth open and shut, as if he was trying to think of some ay to describe whatever the change was. He glanced at Fujin, who just shrugged, and eventually Raijin did too. "He's just different, ya know."   


Resolving to check out this transformed Seifer, I glanced at my watch. "I need to be somewhere right now," I told them reluctantly, "but I'm glad I was able to talk to you."   


Raijin smiled while Fujin just stared; I took that as a positive sign (with Fujin, you couldn't always tell) and with a nod in their direction once again started towards Cid's office.   


--0--   


"Quistis, I'm glad you could make it."   


"I apologize for being late, Headmaster," I said, closing the office door behind me. Around the front of Cid's desk sat Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Xu, and Nida.   


"No problem," Cid replied with a smile as I took the seat between Selphie and Xu. "We haven't begun yet anyway."   


"We just got here ourselves about ten minutes ago," Selphie whispered to me, "although Xu's been here about half an hour and Nida not much less than that."   


Punctuality was usually very important to me; it was rare I was the last one to a meeting. Selphie was pointedly staring at me, obviously curious about my tardiness, but I just nodded at the news and remained silent.   


"Now that we're all here," Irvine stated, pushing his cowboy hat up from his face, "care to tell us what this meeting's about?"   


Other than the slightly disrespectful way the question was phrased, I agreed with Irvine but Cid was shaking his head. "We're still waiting for one more..."   


He cut off as the door opened and Seifer slowly made his way into the office.   


"What's he doing here?" Zell blurted out, then immediately looked ashamed at his outburst.   


Cid's lips brow furrowed, a rare signal that indicated he was becoming angry. "He's as much a part of this as you all are," the Headmaster stated firmly, and while we all stared at him in various states of shock Cid motioned to an extra armchair to his left. "Go ahead and take a seat, Seifer."   


Something was different about the blond man. It took me a minute of staring while he crossed the room to figure it out: the white coat that had been his trademark for so long was missing. He was wearing a faded red shirt and black pants, one of his normal ensembles, but the coat that had always before covered them was gone; without it, he looked completely different. The increased length of his hair was suddenly much more noticeable; instead of being slicked back it was slightly tousled, as if he hadn't bothered with it after taking a shower. Squall had somewhat trimmed his previously unruly hair several months back, figuring the shorter look was more professional; Rinoa had been decidedly put out by the change, since she'd always loved the longer look. While Seifer's cut wasn't as long as Squall's had once been, it was interesting to note the unintentional similarities.   


"Sorry I was late sir," Seifer said, reclining back in the chair. "I'd left my communicator off and the doctor had trouble getting ahold of me."   


"No worries, no worries," Cid replied cheerily, "you're here now and that's all that matters. Now, down to business. "His face grew somber very quickly as he continued. "I'm sorry I had to call you all in at a time like this. I know many of you have...other places you'd rather be."   


At least he understood that, for which I was grateful.   


"Unfortunately, precisely because of both the nature of the 'incident' and the person who suffered most I had to call you together as quickly as possible." Unable to remain in his seat, Cid rose to his feet and began pacing the room. "Squall was...is... the Commander here at Garden. As certain as I am that he'll be back on the job soon" - Cid's back was turned to me at that moment so I couldn't see his expression - "right now the Garden is essentially without a commanding officer. Therefore, I'd like to temporarily promote Quistis Trepe to the role of Commander here at Balamb Garden."   


Whatever Cid said immediately after that I never heard. Me, the Commander? Squall had been welcome to that particular honor; I barely managed to juggle the duties I had now, not counting the responsibilities inherent to that role. I wished the Headmaster had informed me about his decision beforehand instead of dumping it suddenly at my feet like this...   


"Quistis?"   


Blinking, I looked up to see Cid staring at me. "Yes sir?" I asked politely, surprised my voice sounded so normal.   


"I was asking if you were willing to accept the new role."   


I was getting a choice? Well, I thought privately, not much of a choice really; I couldn't easily say no with so many eyes on me. Still, I knew myself enough to be certain that that even if Cid had asked me in private my answer would have been the same. I wasn't sure if I was the best one for this particular job; surely there were some more qualified than I was, but if Cid was offering it to me then ... "I accept."   


"Good," Cid exclaimed, giving me a small smile. "We'll make any necessary arrangement for the temporary transfer a little later." Returning to his desk, he sat down as his face once again turned somber. "There's another reason I called this meeting," he stated seriously.   


"Because were are a military organization not connected to any one country, we are constantly under the scrutiny of local governments. The Gardens' reputation was, in some circles, tarnished by what happened when we fought the sorceress. Some of our actions since..." He winced, then reiterated, "Some of my actions since then have done nothing to alleviate those concerns."   


"If you're talking about Matron," Zell stated hotly, slamming a fist on the armrest of his chair, "then to hell with what they think of your actions." A chorus of voices agreeing with the martial artist rose around the room, mine included.   


Cid's troubled expression lightened somewhat. "Thank you all for that," he murmured, and seemed to want to say more but kept silent, swallowing hard.   


I glanced over at Seifer, seated alone nearby Cid: nobody had spoken up in defense for him like they had Edea. His face was inscrutable however; I couldn't tell what he may have been thinking about that fact.   


"Anyway," Cid continued after a moment, "certain actions have done little to alleviate negative publicity. We aren't exactly the darlings of the public anymore now that nearly a year has gone by, and people tend to forget heroism quickly unless constantly reminded. We've gone back to getting both threats and offers from neighboring countries along the lines of 'Joins us, or leave.' Nothing new, really, as we were getting those even before all this happened.   


"Two days ago, we received an interesting note which I might have disregarded had I not just received another piece of information a few hours ago. Or, rather..." He trailed off with a frown, then shook his head. "I suppose it's best if I showed you all."   


Cid depressed a crystal penholder to his right and a square section sank down at the center of the desk. This immediately angled upward and as it turned over we saw the bottom side was a small screen. "What I'm about to show you," the Headmaster stated, "was part of a communication I received from one of our contacts. I managed to record a small portion before it was cut off." He typed something on his desk and the screen came alive with static. Seifer came around to the back of us, crouching down in the space between Selphie and I.   


"... me that whatever it has has gotten stronger." A stranger, most likely the contact, had appeared on the screen. He looked to be in his thirties, with dark hair and eyes, and a face that was very plain and thus hard to describe. The perfect spy. "Since its acquisition of Galbadia it's been silent..."   


He trailed off, listening to what I suppose was Cid asking a question; there was no audio of the Headmaster on the recording.   


The stranger shook his head against whatever the statement had been. "There hasn't been a single whisper of anything like tha--" He cut off suddenly, head whipping around to the right. "Who...?"   


His eyes widened at something out of view and a sudden look of fear crossed his face, then he seemed to freeze in place. A gloved hand reached out from beyond the screen, touching one finger to the man's forehead as a low voice murmured something intelligible. The contact's face went slack for a single instant, his expression curiously vacant, then reformed into a normal expression as the hand withdrew.   


All of this happened within three seconds time, before Cid could probably even react. Turning back to the communicator with a polite expression the spy remarked calmly, "I'm afraid I have found new employment, Headmas--"   


The communication had been disconnected at that point, most likely from Cid's end. The desk panel retracted back to its original location, and we all turned puzzled looks to the Headmaster; he, however, was rummaging around the top of his desk, obviously looking for something. "This is the note," he stated, handing me a piece of laminated parchment, "we received two days ago. I would probably have forgotten about it if we hadn't had our little incident in the training yard."   


I took the note carefully from the Headmaster's hand and, as everyone crowded around me, began to read it out loud. "For a Garden to grow / A SeeD must be sown / With a fence spread around to protect. / But now comes the surprise / I still got inside, / Your barrier reduced to a speck." I blinked as I realized I was reading a limerick but continued, "As easy as it is / It doesn't take a great whiz / To realize you're not all that safe. / I got past your fence / This time only a test / Unless with me you decide to ally." At the bottom of the note there was no signature, but instead a red stamp in the form of a ... What?   


Shocked silence followed as everyone read the 'note' again, and in some cases a third time. Finally, Selphie broke the silence. "This was the threat?" she asked, her voice doubtful.   


"Someone fancies themselves quite the comedian," Seifer remarked from over my shoulder as he returned to his own seat.   


"It wasn't a very good poem either, was it," Zell piped up, his eyes still on the paper. "Frankly, it seriously sucked; the last word didn't even rhyme."   


"Limerick," I corrected absently, my thoughts on the note in my hand.   


"Whatever," Zell waved the comment aside.   


My brow furrowed. "This isn't a laughing matter," I started sternly, but for some reason my comment seemed to amuse Zell, Selphie, and Irvine.   


"C'mon Quisty," Irvine drawled, "how can we possibly take someone whose signature is a red sheep seriously?"   


"It's a llama," I corrected sharply, and that set them all off in a fit of giggles. I sighed and massaged my temples, exasperated at their attitudes.   


"We finally finished the student and SeeD census a couple hours back." The suddenness of Cid's voice stopped the giggling, although I still heard an occasional snicker. "Between the few still out on missions and the rest here at Garden, we were able to account for all but two cadets. One operative from the field still hasn't replied back and a cadet here, Reginald Cahill, was last seen a couple hours before your unfortunate experience heading in the direction of the training area."   


That shut everyone up instantly. My chest constricted; Reggie Cahill had been one of the ones I'd sent to Xu's office for ganging up on Seifer. I may have been part of the reason he'd gone to the training area in the first place, if like me he went there to relieve pent-up anger. And if he'd disappeared, with the emerald dragon on the loose in there... I wasn't sure I knew how to deal with that.   


"No matter the source," Cid continued in a low voice, "we're taking any threats to Garden seriously from now on. You are all among the more public Seeds here at B-Garden, whether because of rank, instructorship, or experience, which is why I called you here."   


I glanced over and was gratified to see that Selphie and Irvine (I couldn't see Zell from my seat, but I'm sure him as well) looked ashamed of themselves, and even Nida looked a little uncomfortable.   


"Quistis," Cid continued, and my gaze snapped back to the Headmaster. "I need you an Xu to assemble a crew together to coordinate several protective spells for the whole of Garden. We also need to increase our surveillance on who comes and goes, both at the entrances as well as throughout Garden."   


My first hour in office, and I was being given some hefty assignments. Still, at least these duties would be less tedious than correcting papers; it'd be nice to see someplace other than the inside of my classroom.   


"It's been nearly a year since our defeat of Adel," the Headmaster stated, steepling his fingers atop the desk. "Now it seems we may have another threat facing us, even if we don't yet know what it may be. If it has anything to do with what happened to Galbadia Garden..." Cid took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'd just rather be a bit more prepared this time around."   


-------------------------   


"I still think that letter was funny."   


"Stuff it Zell," Seifer murmured, not even looking at the blond. His voice lacked any of its normal bite and Zell looked thunderous for a moment, but when Seifer did nothing but stare at the closing elevator doors the volatile martial artists simply crossed his arms and turned away. I gave Seifer a curious glance but he ignored me too.   


"So what do we do now?" Selphie asked softly, echoing what I knew we were all thinking. Nobody said anything, but I felt a number of stares in my direction.   


Wondering if this was how Squall felt when people turned to him for decisions, I replied, "We do as Cid says. I'll probably have to give some sort of announcement about what happened before me and Xu start to research some spells we can use to bind to Garden's defenses."   


"We can do that," Selphie piped up. "Me and Irvy have had to use the library before, so we know how to find some of the stuff."   


Curious as to how they 'used' the library yet not really wanting to ask, I nodded. "Sounds good." I noticed Zell didn't look too thrilled about that particular decision, and storing it away to tell Ellone later I continued, "Zell, I need you to do a full sweep of Garden. Unless someone has figure out how to teleport something that size into a moving target it had to be brought or let inside. Find out where."   


"Roger, Commander," he replied, saluting sharply.   


I wondered if I'd get used to being called that. Squall was the 'Commander', not me; it just didn't seem right. Some might argue that a position of leadership like I'd just been thrust into was little different than teaching, but in my mind there was a big difference. Making a choice about peoples' lives, about who went on what mission and dealing with the consequences of those decisions, was a whole lot different than deciding if an essay was an A or a B+. "Nida, I need you to do a diagnostic on the Garden's controls; try to learn as much as you can about how this facility ticks, how deep the controls go, etc, and give me a report on it as soon as you can."   


"Yes sir...um, ma'am."   


With a sinking feeling in my gut I ticked off the multitude of things I'd have to arrange due to my promotion, temporary thought it might be. I still had classwork that needed grading before classes started again, plus if this went on long enough I'd have to arrange splitting up the cadets among the other instructors. Balamb wasn't a large Garden, but we'd had an influx of younger members in the past year, many of whom were not orphans, which had served to expand our ranks. On top of my classes, I'd also arranged to help several students with GF training, plus give lessons on whip mastery...   


"What do you want me to do?"   


Startled out of my thoughts, I glanced over at Seifer. He continued to stare inscrutably ahead, but when I didn't immediately answer he looked over at me, his eyes silently challenging.   


To be honest, I hadn't thought of anything for Seifer to do; I had figured he wouldn't want to help. Yet here he was, asking for an assignment when I'd plainly overlooked him in delegating tasks. Grimacing inwardly, I wondered if he'd take my not including him personal...then remembered this was Seifer. Of course he would.   


The thing was, I didn't know what task to give him. It was obvious I couldn't have him working with anyone; he'd never been much of a team player anyway, but with feelings running so high about who he had been I doubted anyone would work willingly with him anyway. He could be useful though; Seifer had an excellent sense for strategy, quite possibly the reason he so often disobeyed orders - he saw a better way to do things. Still, we didn't need any battle strategies, not yet at least, but perhaps...   


"I need you to give me as thorough a report as you can on the defenses of this facility," I said finally as the elevator doors opened to the main floor. "Every nook and cranny, any possible entrances we didn't know about before, just about anything you think might be important. Start around the basement since we don't know much there, but be careful with NORG - he's still dormant down there." A thought occurred to me and I added, "You can use Fujin and Raijin; three sets of eyes are better than one. I'll send you the blueprints to Garden to give you someplace to begin."   


"Aye," he replied simply, stepping first out of the elevator and striding briskly down the stairs. Materializing seemingly out of nowhere, Fujin and Raijin appeared at his side and he bent down, murmuring something to them. Within seconds the three separated, each heading a completely different direction.   


I stared after the trio for a moment, then noticed bemusedly that everyone else was too. It seemed I wasn't the only one who'd noticed a difference in Seifer; every face on the elevator had various degrees of confusion. Zell was frowning with his head cocked to one side, while Xu showed only a polite curiosity.   


Irvine caught my gaze, and a mock pout broke through his bewildered look. "How come he gets the fun job?" he whined, earning an elbow in the ribs from Selphie.   


The comment broke the mood, and the group shared a small laugh. Rolling my eyes I exited the elevator, followed by the rest.   


  


  


  



	12. Mixed Emotions

A/N: New chapter! Again. :D Hope ya'll like it, I'll admit it's a bit more mellow but...ah heck, just read the danged thing. And I promise there'll be more action (and Seifer) coming up. :D  


If you want to get new chapters ASAP, I'd suggest registering for the forums at http://www.ffonline.com since I'm a regular poster there and will answer comments and add new stuff there before I'll come here. And again, if you're having problems registering (I talked to an Admin, he said he'd look into it; I trust him :) ) just let me know and I'll let him know. Hopefully it's fixed now though. Anyway, on with the story!  


  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   


12   


  


By the end of the week, I had gained a great deal of respect for Squall.   


Wait, let me rephrase that: by the end of the first day I'd gained a lot of respect for our Commander. By the end of the week, I was in total awe.   


I had never realized everything that was sent through the Headmaster's office. Cid dealt with the politics and the gil issues, but other than that he left the rest to the commanding officer - aka, me. And there was plenty, believe me. I'd always been the type who preferred to have a hand in everything I oversaw, but halfway through the week I realized that was impossible: there was simply too much.   


Xu helped a lot with the day-to-day details, which of course left me indebted to her for a lifetime. She had regularly assisted Squall with the mission assignments, student affairs and discipline, and the overall running of the Garden so knew what had to be done. It amazed me, though, that Squall had never complained about his new duties; with this much work, I don't think I could have stayed silent. Rinoa's influence hadn't affected his work ethic much, it seemed.   


Life went on as "normal", with the exception that we were on heightened security alert. With Xu taking care of a lot of the smaller matters, I was free to help organize the group attaching additional protective spells to the Garden. Selphie and Irvine continued to research and had given me several ideas, which I had run past the group. Most of the crew was composed of instructors and SeeDs, but there were also several students whose magical ability was exemplary enough to join the project.   


I would have asked Rinoa to help, but I knew that would never work. With what we were doing, total concentration needed to be on the task at hand; while Rinoa had never been the most focused sort anyway, she now had other matters weighing heavily on her mind.   


Things had come to a head with the sorceress on Friday night, three days after I assumed command. She hadn't left Squall's side in all that time, not even to sleep; she'd just used his bedside as a pillow. So when she appeared in the Headmaster's office of all things, I nearly had a heart attack.   


*   


_ The elevator doors opened, and I glanced up from what I was doing to see Rinoa step forward off the lift. A cold fear gripped my heart as I felt the blood leave my face. "Is he...?" My mouth wouldn't finish the question, but Rinoa just shook her head.   
_

"He's still the same," she replied softly, and I had to catch myself against a chair at the relief that coursed through me. Rinoa was wringing her hands, very obviously distraught at being away from Squall's side, and her pale face held a troubled look. Concerned, I moved towards her to catch her if she fell, which she looked about ready to do, and asked, "Are you all right?"   


"Do you love him?" she asked suddenly, turning a piercing gaze on me.   


The question arrested my forward movement. I stared blankly at her, understanding the question but unsure how to answer. Feeling too uncomfortable to look her in the eye I turned my head to stare at the wall-hangings across the office.   


Silence stretched between us, then she asked again, a bit more softly this time, "Do you love him?"   


I swallowed as she asked the question a second time, and hoped that in this instance I wasn't dealing with an irrational sorceress. I opened my mouth to say 'Yes', but what came out instead was, "I don't know anymore."   


I blinked. What on earth did I mean by that?   


Rinoa looked about as surprised as I felt. "Why not?" she blurted out, then seemed aghast at her outburst - the first real emotion I'd seen on her face in half a week.   


Choosing my words carefully, I replied, "Because I love you both too much to hurt you with my own feelings." It sounded good, even to me. Still, I had no idea where that phrase had come from. Hadn't I, only three days prior, been so sure I loved him?   


Once more the silence drew out, neither of us looking at the other. I'm surprised no one had disturbed us yet; it was still the middle of the day, and until Rinoa had shown up people had been bustling in and out of the office. I'd asked Xu later and she hadn't admitted to anything, but I had a feeling she'd kept people out to give me and Rinoa a chance to talk.   


Rinoa finally broke the silence, albeit softly. "Did you love him before?"   


"Yes," I stated firmly, sure at least of that. I just hoped she wouldn't take the answer personally.   


She bit her lip at that and the wringing of her hands intensified, but before I could apologize for the truth she asked brokenly, "How do you do it then? Keep going like everything is normal."   


I sighed and averted my eyes, even though she wasn't looking at me. "I have my duties," I started, but stopped when she gave a short laugh.   


"Duty," she all but sneered - something very unlike Rinoa. "How can you think of 'duty' at a time like this?"   


Determined not to get angry, I shrugged, letting some of the pain reach my eyes. "There are a lot of others counting on me," I answered softly. "Right now, it's the only thing I have."   


Rinoa's face crumpled at my statement, and she sank to the floor. "And he's all I have," she whispered brokenly.   


I've never been good with excessive emotion, either in myself or with others. I had no idea how to comfort someone, and even the thought made me cringe slightly...but there was no one else around. I was the only one here, the one...   


...The one Rinoa had come to for comfort._ It was a startling realization. Perhaps in me she saw an echo of her own love for Squall, and wanted to be told it would be all right by one who felt exactly the same way she herself felt.   
_

It wasn't my nature to lie, even to help ease someone's pain, but... Taking a deep breath, I crossed the space between the two of us and sank down next to the quietly sobbing girl. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I wrapped my arms around the sorceress and pulled her close to me. She broke down completely then, her eyes crying tears I thought for sure would have dried up long ago. Clutching hard to my jacket she keened softly, sobs wracking her body... and I just held her, rocking gently and awkwardly patting her head, murmuring soothing words as best I could.   


Her own anguish was starting to creep over onto me but I ruthlessly beat it down, not wanting to give up my hard-won control. I doubted crying would be fitting to the role of one giving comfort. I couldn't, however, stop my eyes from filling; couldn't stop the tears from overflowing and make salt trails down my face; couldn't stop the occasional hitch in my breathing that I refused to acknowledge as a sob.   


So much for being an ice queen.   


*   


After that day, Rinoa came back to us. She still spent most of her time in the Infirmary, but she also insisted on trying to help us out. Overjoyed that the sorceress seemed to be better, Selphie offered to let her help out with the research; by then, I think Irvine was starting to go absolutely stir crazy. With that in mind I sent the gunner to help Zell with his investigations; I'd noticed the two of them worked reasonably well together as long as Selphie wasn't in the picture.   


I've got eyes in my head: it doesn't take a genius to see the hormones.   


Most of the doctors had left Garden having done all they could surgically, but Squall had yet to awaken. We all visited as often as we could, although it pained me greatly that my own visits were few and far between, and never lasted long. Laguna had arrived at Garden the previous evening and gone immediately to the Infirmary. Rinoa had welcomed him warmly and offered him her own seat, but he'd insisted on simply standing and allowing her to keep her spot. Rinoa had been trying for several months to get the two to meet, but Squall had never been interested and I suppose Laguna hadn't wanted to push him. My personal opinion was that the Estharian should do just that. Subtly had never been the way to break through to Squall; just look at Rinoa. I hadn't been in Medical when he'd arrived but apparently he'd grilled the remaining doctors, and hadn't quite been his usual charming self while doing it either.   


I heaved a sigh and brought myself back to the present, cutting short my little reverie. There was too much work to be done for me to spend time thinking about the past week. I was going over the latest report on how the Garden's defense preparations were coming along when Xu walked in, a distracted look on her face. "Yes?" I asked, looking up from the file in my hand.   


"Hm? Oh, sorry." Xu's distracted expression cleared and she handed me yet more paperwork. "Nida asked me to give these to you. Apparently he's found a few other interesting properties to the Garden's systems since his last report and thought you might like to know."   


Sighing inwardly, I added the report to a growing pile in a tray next to me. Someone, I wasn't sure whether as a joke or as dubious help, had labeled the trays on either side of my temporary desk "Inbox" and "Outbox" - and true to form, there was a huge size discrepancy between the two. It might have been funny if it weren't for the fact that I had to actually read all of those reports, requests, letters, memos, etc. Reluctantly I turned back to the file I'd been studying, only to look back up when the other woman paused in the doorway.   


I knew Xu; she was three years older than me, but we had gone through the same classes together and had graduated to SeeD at the same time. Along the way we'd become friends, and I knew most of her habits and mannerisms. For someone so professional in the field, she sometimes found it difficult to begin a personal or non-job related discussion. "Okay, what is it?" I asked, setting the file on the desk.   


Instead of denying anything she just smiled ruefully. "I can't keep things from you, can I?"   


"No ma'am," I replied, giving her a small smile.   


Still she hesitated, then asked in a puzzled voice, "Have you noticed anything different about Seifer?"   


My eyebrows rose. "I haven't seen him all week," I replied. "Why?"   


"He just seems different." The puzzled look on her face deepened into a small frown. "He was sent to my office earlier, you know. It seems he got into an argument with several students."   


No, I hadn't known. "What happened," I demanded, my gaze sharpening on Xu. Hyne help me, if Seifer had gotten himself into another mess...   


Misinterpreting my response, Xu hastened to reply, "No, the fight wasn't his fault. It seems he met up with a couple students who felt he didn't deserve to be SeeD."   


"Dammit," I grit out, causing Xu to look at me strangly. Rubbing a hand over my face I wondered aloud, "How on earth are we going to get him reestablished in Garden with incidents like this continuing to pop up?"   


"I don't know," Xu replied, pondering the question herself. "It may just take time, but now that he's made SeeD..."   


"...it's going to get worse." I sighed, then repeated, "So what happened?"   


"We know it wasn't Seifer's fault," she replied. "Raijin and Fujin were there as well, and it was those two who did most of the fighting against the cadets. Seifer apparently called them off, according to the cadets."   


The cadets had confessed to this? "And then?" I prompted, listening intently.   


"And then, an instructor showed up and saw the group, realized what was happening, and sent everyone to me. He also claims Seifer was saying something to them, but he shut up before the instructor got within earshot." Xu shrugged. "Either way, the students confessed to me all that happened, which fit with Raijin and Fujin's account."   


"So there wasn't actually a fight," I mused, feeling a bit relieved.   


Xu shook her head. "There was, although it was Seifer's posse and not the blond himself. I let it slide because it was in defense of a friend, although the students won't be getting off nearly as lucky." Xu stopped, then let out a loud sigh. "That wasn't the weird part though. The entire time he was in my office, when I questioned him alone and in front of the others, Seifer never made any snide remarks. No smirks either; I might as well have been talking to a wall for all the expression he gave me."   


"Sounds to me like he's finally maturing," I replied, shrugging. "It had to happen sometime."   


"But it's unnatural," Xu stated, grimacing. "He was literally as bad as Squall used to be."   


I frowned a bit at that, but just shrugged it off. "He'll get over it," I said. "And you can't say it's not a nice change from his old attitude."   


Xu, however, didn't seem to appreciate my joke. "It's unnatural for him," she repeated firmly. "I have no idea how to deal with him like this."   


"It's probably just a phase," I reassured her. "He'll be back to normal in no time."   


Xu just snorted, but didn't say any more as she left the office. Glaring at the stack of files in my inbox, I took a deep breath and reluctantly picked up another report, resigning myself to a long day.   


--0--   


It was late that night when I finally got out of the office. Selphie had been nice enough to bring me some food from the cafeteria around dinner time, but everyone had turned in for the night quite a while back. The walkway was empty when I stepped out of the elevators, and half the lights had been shut off giving the main quad a different look than during the day. Shadows danced in the corners as I walked briskly by, hand on my whip just as a precaution. One never knew these days.   


Turning down the walkway to the Infirmary, I made my way silently down the corridor. There wasn't a soul in sight, and like most of the Garden a number of lights were turned off. The Infirmary itself was still lit, as it remained open all the time, but Dr. Kadowaki was nowhere to be seen. That suited me just fine as I crept quietly past the machines and medical paraphernalia towards the room in the back that held Squall.   


I could hear a low murmuring coming from inside, and hesitated for a moment before opening the door. It pushed forward without a sound and I peeked around the edge.   


Rinoa sat in the chair next to Squall's bed, the fingers of her right hand interlocked with those of her unconscious boyfriend. She was leaning forward onto the bed, using his arm as a pillow while her other hand rested flat against his chest. It would have been a very poignant moment, if not for the fact that Rinoa seemed to be drooling.   


Squall, for the most part, looked the same as he had a week ago: pale, haggard, and extremely thin. He hadn't awoken through it all, which had the lot of us worried. The doctors had assured us before they'd left this was often the case after traumatic injuries, that the body focused everything on healing and rest. Still, I think would have given just about anything to see a small twitch of the hand, a single blink of an eye - something to give us hope. Rinoa, I think, needed it more than anyone else.   


It wasn't the two lovebirds who drew my attention, however, but the other unexpected guest also crouched next to Squall's bedside. I guess I hadn't been the only one who was into late night hospital-bed visits.   


"I remember once coming to visit you in the orphanage," Laguna whispered, his face hidden from me. "You were about four years old at the time, not even as tall as my hip, and so very beautiful." He paused, and I saw his narrow shoulders rise and fall as he took a deep breath. "Ellone didn't know I'd gone there; I'd even left Kiros and Ward behind in Esthar, telling them I needed to visit Raine's grave alone. Instead I hopped a train going the opposite direction."   


His shoulders hunched, and his voice became even lower. "The two heads of the orphanage, Edea and Cid, welcomed me there. They seemed so disappointed when I said I wouldn't yet be able to take you with me." He gave a muffled laugh, which sounded harsh even with the faint tone. "Yet, I told them... They believed me though, and when I asked to see you they took me to a playground in the back. Playground, heh; the contraption looked more like an obstacle course, and was covered with kids. But I knew you instantly; they didn't even have to point you out.   


"You were playing with a blond boy high atop a narrow walkway. Or maybe it was fighting; I couldn't tell from that distance. I still remember your clothes: green shirt with red sleeves, black pants, and brown boots that looked dirty even from where I stood. I just watched you as you played, watched you slide down a pole to the next level to get away from a blond haired girl who was following you. You were crouching next to another boy on the lower levels when you saw me staring at you."   


I watched his shoulders begin to shake, and realized this discussion was something I had no right to be a part of. Standing there, watching the man whose life we'd followed through our dreams start to break down, I wondered sadly if Squall would ever be able to forgive Laguna. Not long after we returned to Garden, Laguna had paid a visit to Garden and asked to see Squall in private. Whatever their conversation had been (and some of us had a fairly good idea), afterwards Squall had clammed up about the Estharian President. Any time the conversation came up he changed the subject, refusing out right to discuss it with any of us. If Rinoa brought it up to him privately she never told us, and I wasn't asking; it was really none of my business.   


"You just watched me," Laguna continue, his voice growing thick, "obviously not having a clue who I was. Of course, how could you have; we'd never met. After a moment you got distracted when the blond boy hit you with a mud ball and turned those precious eyes off of me." Laguna ran a hand through his long hair, visibly shaking. "How does one fix a mistake like this?" he asked in a broken voice. "I should have come for you, but it seemed safer where you were than it would ever have been near me. Maybe you're right, maybe I do make too many excuses...but is it really too late?" Laguna reached over to brush a damp lock of hair off Squall's forehead and I saw the agony etched deep into the man's face. "Just don't leave me now Squall. Even if you hate me for the rest of your life..."   


I'd seen enough, more than I should in all honesty have ever seen. It was wrong to be intruding; that I'd stayed to hear as much as I did was just plain inexcusable. Withdrawing from the room as quietly as I'd entered, I let the door creep shut and silently made my way to my quarters.   


  



	13. Author's Note

Oh, dear. I've been lax again, haven't I? And GEEZ, the stupid chapter order has been wrong for HOW long? I thought everything was kosher, but NO, of COURSE not... *grumblegrumblegrumble* ... ... Of course, if I'd actually _been around_ to check up on these things...  


To anyone who still bothers to read this: I swear I haven't forgotten this story. It still has a very prominent place in my mind; I still ponder on how it's going to turn out, what will happen next, how on _earth_ will Quistis and Seifer get together at the current rate their relationship is going. All I can say is, I had NO friggin' idea what would happen to "Free Time" when I got out of school and joined the real world.  


Considering I have two jobs, barely make minimum wage, and work as often as I can, free time is a distant memory. :( :( :(  


I have NOT, however, forgotten this baby. I have plans to change a couple different things (alright, so some of them will be major) that have already happened in the story, change the order around because 1) I had a definite goal when I started this that it'd be a Quiefer, and 2) because the original plotline I had in mind was SO juvenile. Yeah, it was.  


I've got some of a new chapter already written down, but it's not enough to give you as a cookie; actually, it's pretty boring so far. Plus, I'm wanting to tweak things and, well, that's going to change what happens next also and I don't want.... *sigh*   


The story is still alive, everyone. Even if the author is having difficulty adjusting to real life. *mumblegrumble* 


End file.
